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Howdy Doody!

December 9, 2021 By admin

Howdy DoodyIt would be hard to think of a more universal touchstone for baby boomers than the Howdy Doody Show. Say kids, what time is it? It’s Howdy Doody time!!!

There came a time when just about every local TV station had a kids show (the one I remember was Ranger Andy), but Howdy Doody got there first. And the show didn’t just entertain us boomers — it sold TV sets, cereal, lunch boxes and a lot of other products. Advertisers definitely took notice.

It all started with New York radio NBC affiliate WEAF, where Big Brother Bob Smith was the voice of a ranch hand on a show called The Triple B Ranch. He would greet the audience by saying “Oh, ho, ho, howdy doody.” Just the kind of nonsensical wordplay children love to hear, and love to repeat.

It was a short leap from there to the Howdy Doody Show and a whole cast of characters who lived in Doodyville. That named seemed rather benign when I was 7 or 8 years old, but in retrospect it sounds like a weird place to live. Buffalo Bob talked to the marionettes as if they were real, so even though we could see the strings on the puppets as plain as day, we began to think of them as real people. And what a collection of characters– Phineas T. Bluster with his flying eyebrows on separate strings, along with Flub-a-Dub and Dilly Dally. And the live characters were just as interesting. Chief Thunderthud of Kawabonga fame and Princess Summerfall Winterspring were pretty captivating. Clarabell Hornblow provided some of the slapstick and was played by Bob Keeshan, who most of you should remember later became Captain Kangaroo! He sprayed seltzer on everyone and we all laughed like the chuckleheads that we were.

I had forgotten that the show originally came on in the early evening, but I do remember that it came on just after Gabby Hayes. When the show came to an end in 1960, it was after airing 2,343 programs. It had its educational moments and teaching opportunities, but mostly I remember the slapstick, some goofy songs and the spraying seltzer, along with an unexplainable yearning for Princess Summerfall Winterspring (I began to think of her as pretty hot looking just as I hit puberty).

Who didn’t want to be in the Peanut Gallery bleachers when the Princess was in town? I guess when I was more interested in the Princess than the puppets, my Doodyville days were over, but I still remember them fondly.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

Filed Under: ARTS

About that 401K …

December 9, 2021 By admin

golden nest eggOur kitchen remodeling project is behind schedule, but they finish up today, so everything should be good to go for Thanksgiving. We have missed cooking so much and can’t wait to crank it up again.

Of course, we’re going to have a nicer kitchen, but being miserable for close to five weeks motivated us to get serious about having fun. We are out of practice.

Dale and I don’t have a big urge to travel, especially long trips by air, and COVID did nothing to change our minds. Still, we’re feeling confident we can scoot around California with moderate risk. There are so many beautiful places to see here, and we’ve done a whole lot of nothing for two years.

As it is with kitchens and travel, everything costs money. I’ll start collecting Social Security in December, and that should help fund some adventures. Additionally, we’re starting to talk about monthly withdrawals from what used to be my 401K but is now an IRA.

Although I was good at building a solid 401K, I’m less skilled when I think about draining it. I have found it difficult to make the mental switch from saving to spending. However, I may be ready. Not too many people in my family die of old age, so I’d like to enjoy what’s there.

We talked with Bob, our financial planner, and he encouraged us to get started … operating under the theory you can’t take it with you. Bob suggested we go with 4-5 percent. Ideally, your returns match or outpace withdrawals, so you don’t touch your principal. But with this market, who knows?

As a childless couple, we do want to spend our principal … just not all at once. I like the idea of “die broke.” However, I would like to avoid being alive and broke. But if that’s how it goes down, hell, yes, I would take it.

My car is 11 years old and in good shape, but I see a new one on the horizon. So, it will be good to start socking away cash for that purchase. I’m hoping my car goes another couple of years so I can see how the electric market shakes out. I’d like to go electric or plug-in hybrid. Any recommendations?

The biggest hurdle is getting over a bad case of COVID caution. Breakthrough infections notwithstanding, we’re both fully vaccinated and boosted and will most likely be just fine. We can’t live in fear forever.

Donna Pekar is an aging badass (for real) who lives in California and writes Retirement Confidential.

 

Filed Under: ESSAY

Property

December 9, 2021 By admin

sticky honeyI fill my mouth with summer, lips purple from the juice of tart blueberries I pluck from the bushes. Just past the ripening tomatoes my mother bends down to harvest a perfect cantaloupe. The smell of green is heavy in muggy August air as we amble from our garden toward the modest split level we call home. I follow my mother through the screen door and into the kitchen, where the mustard yellow linoleum cools my small bare feet.

My mother places the melon in a fruit bowl and smooths black bangs off her serious face. Sensing movement outside the window she peers through the glass.

“Don’t you dare,” she whispers to them, to herself.

On tiptoe I can see above the sill and watch as two sandy-haired teenagers, maybe twins, sun-blessed and confident, stride across our yard and past our garden. On long legs they easily vault our split rail fence and land in the farmer’s field. They will ramble past the rooster, hens, and haystacks, past the old red barn to the creek, where clear cold water rushes over rocks like laughter from boys’ mouths.

My mother jolts into action and grabs her weapons: a basting brush from a drawer and a jar of Sue Bee Clover Honey from a cupboard, where it resides next to her bottle of nerve pills. Armed with brush and honey, my mother pushes hard against the whining screen door and marches outside. I follow this aproned warrior, two steps of mine to each one of hers. I follow her through our yard and past our garden to our fence, where we stop under the cloudless sky.

I sit cross-legged in the grass and watch my mother briskly paint the grey wooden slats with golden honey. She paints and paints until the honey is gone and the fence glistens in the sun. A sickly sweet scent rises in the afternoon heat.

My mother steps back to survey the work and breathes deeply, arms folded over her chest. Beads of sweat wander down her flushed cheeks. I stand up and tug on her thin cotton dress.

“Mom,” I say, “why did you put all that honey on our fence?”

Through a tight smile she tells me the sandy-haired boys will be sorry they ever cut through our yard. “When they come back,” she says, “those boys will stick to it like flies.”

Tess Kelly lives and writes in Portland, Oregon.

 

 

Filed Under: FICTION

Road Trip!

November 19, 2021 By admin

1956 FordLooking forward to hitting the road, any road, as the post pandemic travel frenzy has taken hold across the nation. All this talk of road trips reminded me of our family’s road trips, such as they were. You could not really call them road trips. More like Sunday drives where Dad had no idea where he was going or how we were getting back home. It would be more accurate to call them Lost Trips.

Picture this: the 1956 Ford in Forest Green; family of 6, Mom, Dad, 2 girls and 2 boys. One sister had a coffee can in her lap in order to address periodic car sickness. I don’t remember the exact configuration, but I’m guessing it was 3 in the front with oldest sister between Mom and Dad, and 3 in the back with next oldest sister and the 2 boys.

After traveling for some distance we would see signs announcing the number of miles to some town in New Hampshire, and since we had started out 2 states away, it was time for Dad to try to figure out how to get home. No point in consulting a map. He would just keep looking for highway markers that indicated the road went south. Sure enough, there was always a route that would take us back to the general vicinity of where we started.

My recollection (flawed as it must be) is that we hardly ever stopped, except perhaps to empty that coffee can. I also recall that it was dark when we arrived home. That means that these Lost Trips might have been in the 3 to 5 hour range. The only aspect of the trip that was adventurous was guessing how long it would take Dad to find a way home.

Maybe this sort of road trip is perfect for these not so safe times. No mask necessary if you never get out of the car. Cars are now equipped with DVD/video players installed in the back of the front seat headrests. The kids can watch the latest Disney flick while Dad motors up the Interstate. And no more getting lost, because there’s a map app right there in the dash. Put in your destination, in this case home, and get turn by turn instructions all the way back.

Yes, the adventure is gone and yes, it’s strange for the kids to each be watching their own movie, but the family is safe and somewhat together in their post-pandemic cocoon. Some day they might even be nostalgic for these times.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

Filed Under: ESSAY

Great Resignation

November 19, 2021 By admin

employees resigningHave you been reading about The Great Resignation? Droves of people are quitting their jobs, much of it as a result of the pandemic. While lots of factors play into their decisions, including child care challenges, it sounds like workers have discovered the joys of a slower pace and aren’t going back until they find something with more balance.

You’ll notice I didn’t say work-life balance. In one job, I wrote talking points for the president of the company about his efforts to change the culture of the workplace. He asked me to “socialize” them with other executives, and one VP took issue with the term work-life balance. He said, and I quote, “Work is life.”

As for resigning, we get it, don’t we? One of the reasons I retired earlyish is because the rat race was wearing me out, too. But I was 62, and my husband and I had enough money saved to presumably last the rest of our lives. These are young people gambling with their futures … holding out until employers bend.

I’ve never understood why 40 hours a week isn’t enough. In my last job, you were expected to put in at least 50, preferably more. My boss had some sort of document readily accessible on her smartphone that could instantly tell her who was putting in the most unpaid overtime … and who wasn’t.

She would check on weekends to see if your Instant Messenger light was green, which usually meant you were online and working.

Granted, I was highly compensated, but my hourly rate was down there with fast food. Not really, but you like to think you’re paid more because you bring extra value, not because you are willing to give up having a life outside of work.

Fast food reminds me of a funny story.

We had just returned from working abroad, and I interviewed for a job at an insurance company in Columbia, S.C. They made an offer, and I countered.

I made more money than that at my last job working in Egypt.

Well, that was overseas. You can’t compare us to overseas.

I made more money than that when I lived in Alabama.

Well, that was aerospace. You can’t compare us to aerospace.

I accepted the job anyway, but when I later told the story to a coworker, he said his response would have been:

I made more money than that when I worked at Captain D’s.

Well, that was fast food. You can’t compare us to fast food.

That story still makes me laugh.

Anyway, I want the workers to find their bliss, but I can’t say I have much hope. I suspect they’ll enjoy some time off, run out of money and once again be at the mercy of the man.

It’s a tough predicament, and I have no love left for what’s become of the workplace, but I have some amazing memories and am still exceedingly grateful for all my experiences.

And the money. Oh, and retirement. Definitely retirement.

Donna Pekar is an aging badass (for real) who lives in California and writes Retirement Confidential.

Filed Under: ESSAY

Mating Season?

November 19, 2021 By admin

mating lionsSo, we’re on a game drive in the Tarangire National Park, Tanzania. Three of us couples in a typical van…the kind you’ve seen in a hundred documentaries and Wild Kingdom episodes. We’ve been circling the preserve for hours, our guide and driver, Lucas, short-waves with fellow guides on the same mission…turning the concept of a zoo on its head. Instead of bored animals stuck in cages ignoring us bipeds on the move, we sit in mobile cages while they move about, ignoring us. Every so often the radio squawks followed by a burst of Swahili exchange and we hare off in another direction to form an impromptu gathering, like outdoor concert fans at a rock fest, to gape at—a herd of elephants, or a leopard stalking a waterbuck or hyenas fighting and feasting on a wildebeest. Since two of us guys are of a ‘certain age’ and have been advised to keep hydrated we’re subject to frequent quick pit stops…made all the quicker for possible hostile fauna in the surrounding bush.

Anyway, Lucas just got another ‘heads up’ and we tore off to join a semi-circle of safari vans horseshoed around a pair of, what we soon came to realize were mating lions. The male slowly rose to all fours, stretched, eased over to the female laid out before him, yawned, climbed onto her back, assumed the position, twitched twice. The lioness viciously snarled and snapped at him. He got up, walked a few steps away and settled back down for a nap. Ten minutes later, he roused himself and repeated.

This time when the female nipped and growled, I said, “Honey, reminds me of us.”

“Ha! Not anymore it doesn’t,” she replied.

Everyone in the van laughed.

“No, No, I mean the snapping and snarling, part.” I counted five pairs of eyes on me. “Time was, we would aggravate each other over some damn thing or another. Have words. Sit and stew over hurt feelings forever until we eventually decided to make up. But now, when we annoy each other, we just let it out, doesn’t matter where we are or who’s watching. Slam. Bam. Then we get back to shopping, dining, or whatever else we were doing. Much better. Don’t you think?”

Lucas turned to look at me and stared—like a strange animal had just broached his rolling cage.

Retired trainer, and writing instructor, Joe Novara and his wife live in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Writings include novels, short stories, a memoir and various poems, plays, anthologies and articles. Read more at https://freefloatingstories.wordpress.com/

 

Filed Under: FICTION

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