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Archives for May 2020

OK Millennials

May 12, 2020 By admin

Pew Research Center called it. Millennials (23 to 38 year olds) are now officially the largest generation in America.

I don’t need to tell you how relieved I am/we should be. The pressure is truly off us, along with the monkey that’s been on our back for twenty years.

What people forget when they speak of the 800 pound gorilla, is that the gorilla also has feelings. Boomers have been the target and the scapegoat for just about everything that’s gone wrong in this country. We rarely get credit for what we’ve done right. Twenty years of that can leave a few scars.

Now, it’s up to millennials to get everything right. Get us out of the pandemic in one piece, rebuild our economy, fix climate change, end poverty, replace our aging infrastructure, and restore our role as a global leader.

No pressure.

I forgot one thing. Don’t pay any attention to the critics, and there will be critics. They will say you’re selfish, entitled, whiny and many more not nice things. Don’t pay any attention to them. You have so much on your To Do list that you cannot waste time listening to people who only want to criticize an entire generation with useless stereotyping.

How do you ignore all the sniping and carping? It’s not easy, let me tell you. It will come from all sides. From older generations as well as your own children. From the media and from authors of bestselling books. You will soon discover that everyone has an opinion for why your generation is a complete failure and huge disappointment. If you start listening to any of this criticism, or worse, take it to heart, it will drive you nuts. Take it from members of the punching bag generation, the bigger you are, the more they come after you.

Remember this most important fact. You are not the point person for your entire generation. When you hear the criticism, don’t take it personally. They are not talking about you. You’re doing your best to be a good, caring citizen trying to make the world a better place. If they don’t get that, #&@% them.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

Filed Under: ESSAY

Do It Now

May 12, 2020 By admin

A lot has been written about our current state of social isolation. And you can bet volumes more on the subject will appear in the months and years to come. I just want to write my little piece about what I have learned so far.

First I have to say that hanging above my desk, amidst about two dozen other pithy words of wisdom from famous authors, which are there to inspire, are the words of Nobel Laureate, Doris Lessing: “Whatever you’re meant to do, do it now. The conditions are always impossible.” You would think that looking at those words every day for the last two or three years would have had some impact on my organizational skills, but apparently not.

As the virus descended on our country, and stay-at-home orders fell into place, I found myself left with a whole bunch of do-do’s on my list and no reason why they weren’t already done. For instance, my newish car has a system for changing the time that is so complicated even my daughter, book in hand, couldn’t figure it out. So last year I went to the dealer and asked them to show me how to do it. “Forget it,” the young man at the service desk said. “It’s too complicated. Not worth your trouble. We’re happy to do it for you any time.” Okay. It wasn’t hard to convince me. He’s done it twice now. This year at the time change – early March you might recall – I rationalized that everybody would be rushing in for help so I would wait a week. Then the world shifted and my clock is still an hour slow. I suspect it will be closer to the next change than to this past one by the time I can drop by for help.

And then there’s the matter of my favorite shoes that need to be re-soled. And the window shade that needs repair. And a couple of throw rugs I wanted for my porch. Oh, and that update my computer refuses to install. Geek Squad where are you?

None of this is life or death. And the virus is. I do have my priorities straight. In fact, I think this whole staying at home thing is good for us. I think we all needed to slow down for a little while and think about what we’re doing with our lives. I know I did. But when it’s over, I tell you, if I have something to do I’m going to do it. No procrastinating allowed. I hope.

Norma Libman is a journalist and lecturer who has been collecting women’s stories for more than twenty years. You can read the first chapter of her award-winning book, Lonely River Village, at NormaLibman.com.

 

Filed Under: ESSAY

Sin

May 12, 2020 By admin

It was the thing that many of us did back then. In the 1970’s, much to the alarm of my parents, I dropped out of college and moved in with my boyfriend. My father tried every tactic to dissuade me, even bringing up the cow and the milk, you know the one about why should someone buy the cow when they can get the milk for free? In any case, none of it worked. We moved in together and feathered our one-bedroom basement apartment nest. It helped that many of my parent’s friends’ kids were making similar choices, and in time, they adapted to the situation. My father even grudgingly admitted he liked the guy. Working part-time, I finished college, and eventually boyfriend and I followed the acceptable path – marriage, corporate job for him while I spent time raising our two beautiful children. My parents breathed sighs of relief, relishing in our comfort and success, at least until we divorced 15 years later, but that’s another story.

Flash forward to 2011. My second husband had died; my new love’s wife had met a similar fate. Such are the dishes served at life’s table. I was in a situation where I needed a place to live. He had a place big enough for both us, having raised his two children there. I had decided never to marry again, and he, before we met, had decided the same. My parents were long gone, so couldn’t comment, but my children could. Mom, don’t you think you’re moving in with him too soon? You haven’t known him long enough. His son, still living at home, said Dad, I thought we were going to be bachelors together. How well do you know this woman? My partner’s mother, the only parent still alive between us, hoped for a commitment ceremony, which we briefly considered, but never got around to.

Today, we enjoy a peaceful cohabitation, with our finances separate but our lives shared. Our children are used to it; his mother no longer mentions the commitment ceremony. Sometimes, though, we get questions from one of our six grandsons. Why don’t you wear rings? Is Gigi your wife? We explain that there are lots of ways to live a life, lots of good choices. My daughter, at the wise age of 35, laughs as she sums it up: You are just two happy grandparents living in sin.

Lee Stevens is a mostly wise elder and joyful writer in Hendersonville, NC

 

Filed Under: ESSAY

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