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Archives for January 2019

That’s Alright Mama

January 23, 2019 By admin

I bumped into Elvis the other day as he was coming out of the Double Dee Diner. He was loaded down with two big bags of carry-out. I don’t want to say he was looking stuffed but I’ve seen him looking better.

The King…great to see you. Everyone always jokes that you’ve left the building and here you are…leaving the building.

Treat Me Nice

Hey, I’m being nice. We just wonder if you will ever record again.

It’s Over

Too bad. Are you sure you won’t change your mind?

Cross My Heart, Hope to Die

There are so many rumors about you being sighted here or there and then there are the doubters who say you’re dead.

Suspicious Minds

That seems to be the price of celebrity nowdays. They say if you want a true friend get a…

Hound Dog

Right, man’s best friend. So where are you staying?

Heartbreak Hotel

Really? That seems a little low end for a big star like yourself.

Don’t Be Cruel

Sorry, but back in the day when you played the big venues you lived the good life.

Viva Las Vegas

When you listen to some of the popular singers and rappers today you must be just a little nostalgic for those days or no?

I’m All Shook Up

What do they have that you didn’t have?

Money Honey

What? You were, you ARE the King!

I Got Lucky

Come on. It was more than luck. They called you the King of rock and roll. What do you think was the secret to your success?

Can’t Help Falling in Love

You did sing a lot of love songs – you talked the talk.

A Little Less Conversation

Sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you up and now your food is getting cold. I guess you want to get back to the Heartbreak.

It’s Now or Never

Really good seeing you.

Love Me Tender

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

Filed Under: FICTION

Team Tamales

January 23, 2019 By admin

Dale and I love tamales and usually buy them fresh at the farmer’s market. However, we’ve been talking about making them ourselves and finally decided to just do this thing.

He surprised me by sharing that he spotted all critical tools and ingredients at the local market I’ve been to once. When did he go? Is this what he does while I’m playing golf? Cruising the markets looking for who knows what?

For the filling, Dale braised a pork butt in the oven with not much more than an onion. After it cooled, he shredded it and added his homemade chile sauce. That’s all there was to filling. But then I didn’t make it, and I know chile sauce is messy work involving the rehydration of dried pepper pods. I find it in our freezer already made!

We set up the work station. Dough, soaked husks, filling. We began to prep and realized neither one of us knew how to roll these things. The masa was too thick, so we added a bit of juice from the pork butt to thin it out.

As for rolling, we were in hysterics trying to figure it out. The first one Dale made looked like a monster burrito, and I weighed it just to see. The mother of all tamales weighed in at nine ounces. I wanted to name it El Jefe, but Dale insisted on El Capitan. I mean, wrap it in a pizza and it could be on the menu at Taco Bell.

They were looking like tamales, and we were argument-free, when we began to discuss steam time.

Dale’s sources, real or imagined, said 45 minutes. Diana (real) said two to three hours. That’s quite a discrepancy. We pulled out other cookbooks, and yes, it varied from 45 minutes to three hours.  How do you know?

We decided it probably depends on how many are in there and the thickness of the masa. The problem was I did not want to be starving at 8 p.m. waiting another hour because the masa wasn’t cooked.

The tamales took about two hours. They were probably too thick, and the rolling technique was inconsistent and weird. However, they were absolutely delicious! We had them two nights in a row and then froze the rest in their husks. A decadent treat we learned in Texas is tamales smothered in chili.

All in all, it was way fun. We laughed a lot because we were so outside our comfort zones. As retirement partners, I highly recommend taking on a joint project of some sort. Something where you have basic skills, but you are stretching them to new limits, so you learn together.

The whole experience reminded me of a team-building exercise from work, except you can use the f-bomb, and we got to kiss at the end.

Donna Pekar is an aging badass (for real) who lives in California and writes Retirement Confidential.

 

Filed Under: ESSAY

Believe It

January 23, 2019 By admin

Janet was moving to New Mexico and starting work on a new project at Netflix. We had a quick close and she was scheduled to take possession on Tuesday. I was sweeping out the garage when she pulled into the driveway.

“Hi. You must be Rivers. I’m Janet Stahl, the new owner. I know I’m a little early, but I couldn’t wait to get here. I love what you’ve done with the house.”

“Well, hello, . . . Janet . . . and thank you. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person after all the paperwork . . .  I’m just finishing up here, but you’re welcome to come in if you’d like. Tomorrow I guess this little jewel is all yours. Welcome to the Land of Enchantment.”

“Oh boy, I have to say it’s a different world after New York. Let me ask you something: I saw the instruments when I first looked at the property. Who’s the musician?”

“That’s me. I just finished recording a collection of instrumentals featuring resophonic guitars, if you know what that is.”

“Are you kidding? That’s like a ‘dobro’ isn’t it?”

“Exactly.”

“Talk about a small world; we’re hoping to get Jerry Douglas as music producer for this project. He’s married to my cousin Janine.”

“No kidding? I heard about your movie from our real estate agent. She said it’s a western?”

“With Robert Duval co-producing. He plays an aging rancher who is losing touch with reality and about to move into an assisted living facility. We start shooting in August.”

“Wow, talk about art imitating life. What’s the film called?”

“The working title is ‘Dogie,’ you know, like an orphaned calf? Listen, I’d really like to talk to you sometime about who the hot local players are out here. There are a few scenes in the movie that will need live music playing, if you know anybody I should contact.”

“Well, sure. I could give you some names. How about lunch tomorrow. There’s a café about a mile from here.”

“I saw it when I drove over. The R n’R, isn’t it?”

“That’s the place. How’s noon.”

“Earlier would be better. Maybe breakfast?”

“9 A.M. okay?”

“Perfect. See you then.”

I don’t know why I’m surprised. Miracles were a big part of the stories I heard as a child: fat man down the chimney, rabbit with candy, storks and siblings, and ‘it’s all going to work out just fine.’

Harpeth Rivers is a true believer based in New Mexico

Filed Under: FICTION

Recall

January 4, 2019 By admin

I had a dream recently in which I could not remember my street address. This was different from being unable to recall a person’s name or the name of a place while awake. That happens all the time, particularly to baby boomers. In the dream, I could not come up with my street address and naturally, I found this very frustrating.

The standard remedies for memory loss often include the following:

·  Avoid prescription medications.

·  Eat only organic, Paleo foods

·  Eat fish

·  Eat fat

·  Use spices on your food

·  Avoid grains

·  Get adequate amounts of quality sleep every night

Seriously? Older people cannot really eliminate prescriptions and to suggest that we can somehow avoid them sounds like nonsense. The diet changes I can handle. Adequate, quality sleep? I wish. That’s another consequence of age and if you ask most 70 year-olds how they are sleeping, 7 our of 10 will tell you “not great.”

I don’t know what aging persons did before the advent of the internet and voice-assistants, but these advances have certainly been a boon to baby boomers. Thanks to OK Google and Alexa, we can get ourselves out of countless recall jams. “Alexa, what do you call those promotional freebies that are given away at trade shows?” ‘Those items are known as swag.’ By the way, the dictionary explains that swag most likely comes from the British slang term for loot, or stolen goods. And that’s way different from merch, which you have to buy.

There are whole theories concerning memory-retrieval issues.Experts say you need to register new information by encoding it with focus and attention. Then you need to store it properly by socking it away in short-term or long-term memory. Finally, you need to facilitate its retrieval by using the cues you established in the registration and storage phases. Sounds complicated, but it’s your brain after all and that’s a busy place. Stress, fatigue or anxiety during the retrieval step throws a monkey wrench into the entire process (let’s not get into where that name comes from or do get into it by Googling Charles Moncky).

It’s not too hard to imagine that soon we will be able to eliminate the Google or Alexa step and just pose our questions to the chip in our brain that has reorganized and alphabetized everything stored there and even some things that are not.

Oh boy!

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

Filed Under: ESSAY

As Is

January 4, 2019 By admin

Our real estate agent showed the house yesterday to a couple from Marin County. She called us last night with a follow-up report.

“They are shopping for another vacation home and have just started looking in New Mexico, but they loved your house, especially the furnishings. Plus, they are making a cash offer if you are willing to close before the end of the year.”

“You’ve got to be kidding. What kind of offer?”

“They are willing to meet your asking price, and they’d like to make a bid on the furnishings.”

“What? You mean the appliances?”

“Well yes, and everything else that you’re willing to include with the sale. They admired the antiques, the art work, everything. In fact, they asked specifically about the piano and the tools in the garage.”

“Jeez, I don’t know. Our bedroom set came from my grandmother’s house, and a lot of the art work is from Annie’s studio. Wait a minute. Are you pulling my leg? Is this for real?”

“Well, yes. This is clearly not the only property they own, and the idea of moving in to a beautifully furnished home that needs a minimum of changes has an appeal for them. As I said, they were charmed by the ramada in the back yard and the other improvements you’ve made. Maybe you could decide what you’re willing to let go of and list anything you want to keep?”

“This is too good to be true. We wouldn’t have to pack or move anything, just hand over the keys, then go rent an R.V. until we decide where we’re headed next. The problem is, I can tell you right now, Annie won’t be happy with doing a clean slate kind of thing. I mean, she’s a nester. This would be like starting all over, almost as if you are erasing your entire history, but I don’t know if that is such a bad thing? Sooner or later we have to let go of it all anyway. I mean when we die. Do they want the dog, too, because that would be a deal breaker. We’ve only had her a year or so, but Tashi is family.”

“Well, it’s your house, your stuff, your art work, your dog. You can do as you please. Why don’t you sleep on it, and I’ll just say we’ll get back to them in the morning.”

Harpeth Rivers is busy packing when he’s not playing guitar or telling tall tales.

Filed Under: FICTION

Big Bite

January 4, 2019 By admin

I’m loving the idea of going through old cookbooks and magazines and somehow reinventing recipes to share.

I started with an old Gourmet magazine, November 1990, and I was blown away by the complexity of the recipes and obscure ingredients. We make a few complicated dishes, but we’ve simplified our cooking and eating over the years. Back in the day, Dale and I used to joke about recipes that started with, “Have your fishmonger …”

The guy at Safeway is as close to a fishmonger as we ever got.

There’s a section of the magazine called, “You Asked for It.” People write in about some specific thing they ate in their travels, and could Gourmet possibly get the recipe? I read this one out loud to Dale:

At the wonderful Hotel Romazzino on Sardinia’s shimmering Costa Smeralda, we had a dish of baked noodles and lobster, covered with pastry, that was almost too good to believe. Was it a dream, Gourmet, or can the recipe be obtained?

We had a good laugh over that one.

Still, the same magazine features Pumpkin Cheesecake with Bourbon Sour Cream Topping, and I have actually made that. Twice! Thinking about making it this year for Thanksgiving.

I’m not dissing the magazine. It gave us many years of pleasure, and I’m still excited to dig in and rediscover nuggets from the past. It’s a good retirement hobby for me, but I doubt I’ll make enough changes to call them my own. I will be lucky to call them edible.

Have no fear. I’ll continue to write about food in some form or fashion because it’s practically all I think about, and it’s important to enjoying life, especially in retirement. But even if a fellow retiree is inclined to cook fancy food, I hardly think they will be stopping by to get tips from me. There are too many great resources already out there.

My progress on getting over the need to accomplish something was also a wee bit overstated. I mean, it has been less than two weeks since I decided to focus on the little things that make me happy. Although cooking makes me happy, in hindsight, reinventing 40 years of recipes sounds a wee bit driven to me.

As for retirement pursuits, it’s kind of like being a kid trying all the sports until you find one you actually like and are good at. Sometimes you have to take big bites. Go ahead, do it!

Donna Pekar is an aging badass (for real) who lives in California and writes Retirement Confidential.

 

Filed Under: ESSAY

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