I’m discombobulated, unmoored, squirrelly. It’s 1 a.m., and in the last hour I’ve turned over in my soft, high thread-count, sheets at least 20 times (that’s 5 times per front, back, left and right) — like a pig roasting on a spit — convinced with every pivot that I’ll be asleep before I can roll again.

Death Valley is a taboo subject at our house, but some have asked what happened to that trip, so here goes.

As you may recall, Dale had been wanting to go in the dead of summer, while I wanted to go in the winter, when normal people visit. I finally caved and said, fine, we’ll go in the summer. We were scheduled to go smack dab in the middle of July. Plenty hot, one would assume.

But I had second thoughts. I mean, we’re not as heat resistant as we used to be. I had a million other reasons for not going, but Dale was excited. I’m not sure he ever understood death was not just a name but an option.

To help me plead my case, I found a video of a couple touring Death Valley in the summer with their two children. It was about 20 minutes long, and not the finest cinema out there, but it told a story.

Basically, they drove from one site to the next, got out of the car and then got back in before they died from exposure, never actually seeing the sites as they were meant to be experienced.
I made Dale watch the video, and he said it was 20 minutes of his life he’ll never get back. However, he also said it didn’t sound like fun to drive around all day after driving eight hours just to get there, especially when it was more of a whim than anything else.

A whim was it? We agreed to cancel.

On the day we would have arrived in Death Valley, the temperature was 129 degrees Fahrenheit. I let out a big sigh of relief and said something to the effect of thank the Great Planner we didn’t go. I figured Dale would nod in agreement. Instead, he looked at me with disgust and said, “We could have been there.”

And that is why we don’t speak of Death Valley anymore. There will come a day when we will try again, but it is not this day.

(Best of Boomspeak, March 2020)

Donna Pekar is an aging badass (for real) who lives in California and writes Retirement Confidential.

Before my husband died of cancer, we loved traveling—especially planning our trips together. We would sit on the couch, reviewing hotels and destinations before booking everything ourselves. Just before his diagnosis, we had planned a trip to the South of France, the Loire Valley, and Paris. When he got sick, we had to cancel, but everything was refunded except for a boutique hotel in Montmartre. After many emails, they let me postpone my stay, which led me to take my first solo trip to France two months after his passing. Sitting at a rooftop bar with a view of the Eiffel Tower, I cried, heartbroken.

I envy women who seem comfortable dining alone. The idea of exposing my solo status in a restaurant fills me with anxiety, so I usually stay home and cook. While I enjoy my own company, I struggle with eating alone in public. Photography is my comfort, but I can’t exactly snap pictures of everyone in a restaurant.

This discomfort led me to explore group travel. A glossy catalog introduced me to a South of France tour similar to the one my husband and I had planned. Since I booked late, solo rooms were full, so I was paired with a roommate. Over the phone, we shared common interests, which seemed promising.

She arrived before me, and when I entered our room, I found a cramped, dark space, clothes strewn everywhere, and the twin beds pushed together. She lay sprawled in pink-and-white striped pajamas, resembling an escapee from Barbie prison. The bellboy inched my suitcase in as she groggily sat up with wild hair. “I can’t do this,” I told him, but there were no other rooms.

Lack of sleep and grief made everything unbearable. Most of the group were couples, with suspicious wives intercepting conversations. The few single women included a mother-daughter duo I didn’t click with and a couple where one partner was friendly, but the other hovered anxiously. I spent ten days feeling alone despite being surrounded by people.

For future trips, I sought smaller groups with shared interests. If you’re considering a group tour, here are my suggestions:

1. Travel with a friend—don’t expect to make one.
2. Pick tours that attract like-minded people.
3. Find trips centered around your passions (art, photography, writing, etc.).
4. Call tour operators with specific questions.
5. Book your own hotel and join small local tours.

For baby boomers, companies like Road Scholar, ElderTreks, and Overseas Adventure Travel cater to solo travelers. Research well to find the right fit.

Jenny Pivor is a photo-based artist who looks for the poetry in the visual, and the visual in her writing.  She sometimes combines the two as in her upcoming book of poems, It’s a Little Bit Skimpy, that couples her images and poetry. jennypivorfineart.com

If you want to feel young, go to Egypt!

I used to shun Road Scholar when it was called Elder Hostel because I did not consider myself an “elder” nor would I ever stay in a hostel. Hats off to whomever did the rebranding! Once it became Road Scholar, I was willing to consider the program.

My husband and I went on our first organized tour this year Road Scholar Beyond the Pharoahs: Egypt Past and Present.

In my group the average age was 71. But don’t call us Road Scholars Old Scholars. We are people with vast life experience and an endless thirst for knowledge. The program included six lectures by Egyptian experts. Even though the talks were at 6 p.m. after an exhausting day of sightseeing, there was nearly 100 percent attendance.

There are two great features of Egypt for boomers.

First is the ridiculous antiquity of everything. How can you feel old when you learn that Ramses II was born in 1300 BC, and that the Temple of Luxor is 3423 years old? You get younger every day in Egypt.

Second-the Egyptians believed you can take it with you. So, if you are wrestling with what to do with your stuff, start building an underground tomb today. The Egyptians not only took their gold and jewels, but they also included a servant or two to help them in the afterlife, and their favorite cats to keep them company.

We saw The Great Pyramid, the only surviving of Seven Wonders of the World, the Sphinx and the Egyptian Museum of Art which holds the treasures of King Tut, and that was the first day. Egypt has so many wonders that you feel like you are adding a new scoop of ice cream to a cone every day. Just when you think you won’t see anything more amazing than the Temple of Karnak, you’ll be beyond amazed at the Valley of the Kings.

For those of you who don’t plan to take it with you, Egypt is the place to be spendy. Fifty Turkish pounds are the equivalent of just under one dollar. Credit card use is ill advised at bazaars, but you’ll have no trouble throwing cash around.

Don’t be afraid to throw Egypt into your Boomer Bucket List. You will be fully protected. You will feel amazement. And you may even feel young.

Margo Warren lives in Bethesda, MD   MargoOnthego.blogspot.com

We recently returned from a two-week trip to Vietnam and Cambodia which included a seven-day cruise on the Mekong, a trip on my husband’s bucket list. I had misgivings because Southeast Asia was not in my comfort zone. I still have bad memories of what happened last year when I got Covid in Morocco. Going to an emergency room in Marrakech was an experience I did not want to duplicate in Vietnam or Cambodia.

I was not sure about the food especially since I don’t eat pork or seafood which is abundant. The good news is that we stayed healthy and food was not a problem at all with plenty of delicious vegetarian options. We loved meeting friendly people along the way. We learned from our knowledgeable guides, saw bustling markets, visited quaint farms and villages, observed craft making, and cooking demonstrations. We toured bustling cities of Hanoi and Ho Chih Minh City, navigated streets crowded with scooters, experienced the wonders of limestone formations of Ha Long Bay and were wowed by the incredible ruins of Angkor Wat.

The cruise company, Avalon, was experienced with travelers of a certain age and kept our excursions short with rest time in between. I loved the river boat; hanging out on the deck, watching fishermen, enjoying the sunrise from the large windows of our comfortable stateroom, and getting to know the other guests at cocktail hour.

I realized one does have to be in rather good working order to go on a trip like this. There are long distances to walk in airports. Many days the weather was very hot and humid. The other potential perils were steps. There were narrow, rickety steps sometimes to get off the boat, to go on sampans, to navigate the ruins in Angkor Wat. There were steps off and on the tour buses. Even the luxurious hotels had hidden little steps, My husband slipped getting out of the pool at our luxurious hotel in Siem Riep, but he was OK. It was especially fun climbing on and off the local transportation; cyclos, tuk tuks and oxcarts.

As a baby boomer traveler, even though I’m not climbing mountains or bungee jumping, ( not that I ever did) there is still so much to see and appreciate in this wide and amazing world, especially if I venture out of my comfort zone!

Joanne Jagoda