Archives for December 2024

Backyard Abode?

December 31, 2024 By admin

Don’t get me wrong. I think Accessory Dwelling Units (ADUs) are a good thing. Loads of communities are altering their zoning to permit ADUs so that aging boomers can live in their kids’ backyard. So that’s a good thing, yes??

Hmm, maybe. Questions: Would the ADU go next to the grandkids’ swing-set or in the middle of the dog run? Will it be in the way when Sonny wants to hook up the big camper? Will it have a view of the neighbors’ yards (on three sides)? And speaking of neighbors, how are they going to feel about the new tiny home that’s now part of their backyard view?

That’s just the list of physical placement issues. What about the psychological pitfalls of having Mom and Dad in the backyard? Are they parents or tenants? Babysitters or more like AirBnB travelers?

You would be fooling yourself to believe that an ADU for one or more parents will have little to no effect on your lifestyle. Just the movement of your “guests” in and out of the property will take some getting used to. Will they have a vehicle? If so, where is it going to be parked? Can you picture Dad sideswiping your car trying to get out of the shared driveway?

Lastly, and it’s no small matter, your children have been out on their own for years. They broke free from the family home but here they are, many years later, pulled back into the fold. It may feel like you’ve exchanged roles; you’re more like the child and they are more like the parent. It could be mind altering (not in the good way).

No doubt ADUs will work for many families but I think that having a truly large yard and empathetic neighbors will be prerequisites for those considering this route. That and an endless amount of patience throughout the adjustment phase.

On the plus side (See? It’s not all bad) your offspring can make sure you are physically and mentally stable because they are going to see you every day. The ADU option can facilitate the transition to more intensive assisted living alternatives when the time comes.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Online News Stand

December 31, 2024 By admin

older couple in bed with heads stuck in their smart phones I just spent thirty minutes scrolling-through and deep-digging into online news for nothing in particular while feeling like I was doing my duty to stay informed about the world at large. I can only think this phenomenon is like sitting at a bar and exchanging this and that with a buddy. It’s a way of finding out what’s going on in a scattered, fragmentary way instead of reading a tight, thoughtful editorial page (if one of those still exists).

News tabs on the computer cover everything from politics to crime, to freak shows, to new products you never thought you needed. And in case you are a bit ADD there are plenty of 10-second cut-aways to guys catching fish in some faraway place, foreigners creating exotic dishes and animals in the rut. Boats in storms, athletes on the edge, strange fruit and fish in mud puddles…it all adds up to a hi-tech version of another generation’s sideshow at the circus.

The part that’s annoying is that I like to be absorbed and distracted by all that ‘seeming worthwhile’ busy information. But, how come, at the end of all the featured ‘hold my beer challenges’ and ‘holy-moley’ imagination benders, there’s lingering distress for all the wasted time and attention rather than in-depth insight into human nature and the world at large? Of course, if your mind works at that level of data input then online smorgasbords are very satisfying. They require much less effort than critiquing wonky policy pieces, listening to media ‘experts’ and boring into right-brain treatises.

Sometimes the torrent of data washing over us reminds me of school where we had to study and consolidate large blocks of data for regular test-regurgitation. Can you imagine a web site where viewers would be asked to absorb and summarize what they just read in a coherent statement or answer a series of true/false questions based on fragmented, disjointed news? I guess the nature of online Google is not deep intellectual consolidation and viewpoint formulation but more like casual blather over a back fence or beers in a bar.

The online data give us a sense of being alert to and aware of current issues and happenings. Which it is…to an extent. But maybe that’s not all we need.

Retired trainer, and writing instructor, Joe Novara lives in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Writings include novels, short stories, a memoir and various poems, plays, anthologies and articles. Read more at https://freefloatingstories.wordpress.com/

Tut, Tut

December 31, 2024 By admin

If you want to feel young, go to Egypt!

I used to shun Road Scholar when it was called Elder Hostel because I did not consider myself an “elder” nor would I ever stay in a hostel. Hats off to whomever did the rebranding! Once it became Road Scholar, I was willing to consider the program.

My husband and I went on our first organized tour this year Road Scholar Beyond the Pharoahs: Egypt Past and Present.

In my group the average age was 71. But don’t call us Road Scholars Old Scholars. We are people with vast life experience and an endless thirst for knowledge. The program included six lectures by Egyptian experts. Even though the talks were at 6 p.m. after an exhausting day of sightseeing, there was nearly 100 percent attendance.

There are two great features of Egypt for boomers.

First is the ridiculous antiquity of everything. How can you feel old when you learn that Ramses II was born in 1300 BC, and that the Temple of Luxor is 3423 years old? You get younger every day in Egypt.

Second-the Egyptians believed you can take it with you. So, if you are wrestling with what to do with your stuff, start building an underground tomb today. The Egyptians not only took their gold and jewels, but they also included a servant or two to help them in the afterlife, and their favorite cats to keep them company.

We saw The Great Pyramid, the only surviving of Seven Wonders of the World, the Sphinx and the Egyptian Museum of Art which holds the treasures of King Tut, and that was the first day. Egypt has so many wonders that you feel like you are adding a new scoop of ice cream to a cone every day. Just when you think you won’t see anything more amazing than the Temple of Karnak, you’ll be beyond amazed at the Valley of the Kings.

For those of you who don’t plan to take it with you, Egypt is the place to be spendy. Fifty Turkish pounds are the equivalent of just under one dollar. Credit card use is ill advised at bazaars, but you’ll have no trouble throwing cash around.

Don’t be afraid to throw Egypt into your Boomer Bucket List. You will be fully protected. You will feel amazement. And you may even feel young.

Margo Warren lives in Bethesda, MD MargoOnthego.blogspot.com

Fogyism

December 8, 2024 By admin

New York Times 2024 music Want to feel really out of it? Like an old fogy? Even the word fogy is old school for God’s sake!

But if you really want to feel out of it, check out the New York Times best albums of the year.

There were 25 artists listed in total and I only was familiar with 7 of them (see my list at end). See if you can do any better:

Charli XCX, ‘Brat’ and ‘Brat and It’s Completely Different but Also Still Brat’

Brittany Howard, ‘What Now’

Vampire Weekend, ‘Only God Was Above Us’

Billie Eilish, ‘Hit Me Hard and Soft’

Kali Uchis, ‘Orquídeas Parte 2 (Deluxe)’

Willow, ‘Ceremonial Contrafact (Empathogen Deluxe)’

Beth Gibbons, ‘Lives Outgrown’

Elucid, ‘Revelator’

The Cure, ‘Songs of a Lost World’

Nala Sinephro, ‘Endlessness’

Arooj Aftab, “Night Reign”

Les Amazones d’Afrique, “Musow Danse (Bonus Edition)”

Beyoncé, “Cowboy Carter”

Chat Pile, “Cool World”

Dawes, “Oh Brother”

English Teacher, “This Could Be Texas”

Angélica Garcia, “Gemelo”

Orla Gartland, “Everybody Needs a Hero”

Ka, “The Thief Next to Jesus”

Michael Kiwanuka, “Small Changes”

Kendrick Lamar, “GNX”

Charles Lloyd, “The Sky Will Still Be There Tomorrow”

Laura Marling, “Patterns in Repeat”

Residente, “Las Letras Ya No Importan”

St. Vincent, “All Born Screaming”

Yes, we had bands with funny names in the 60s and 70s, but I’m not sure they topped Vampire Weekend, Chat Pile, or English Teacher.

It’s all good. They have their music and we have/had ours. We had mix tapes and CDs, they have Spotify and Apple Music. They can follow the lyrics and I’m not sure we ever could (and there was not Internet where we could look them up). On the plus side, the group English Teacher called their album “This Could Be Texas” which I’m hoping is apocryphal (because the real thing is scary enough).

Maybe we should jump on Apple Music and sample some of this music to see if we’re missing anything. Worse case we waste an hour and can go back to our ancient playlists. Best case, we like some songs very much and become new music converts. You never know.

[I knew of Brittany Howard, Billie Eilish, Beyonce, Michael Kiwanuka, Kendrick Lamar, and Charles Lloyd (if he’s the same jazz saxophone musician from my era), and St. Vincent]

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here . His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Two Brothers

December 8, 2024 By admin

Sid looked up at his brother and took his hand, “We can’t talk standing in the hall, come, I’m right in the middle of ironing, you can help me fold.”

“You do your own ironing?” Morty said.

“Oh yeah, it’s very relaxing, you should try it. I do my best thinking with a steam iron in one hand and a can of spray starch in the other. My cuffs and collars are perfection.”

If you had to spend the afternoon ironing, Sidney’s living room was not a bad place to do it. A triple height wall of stained glass, that would not be out of place in a Gothic cathedral, filtered the afternoon light into a dozen different colors. Outside, the bridge, the ocean and the Marin Headlands shimmered and hummed. Inside, Sid got busy on a basketful of white dress shirts and a handful of French linen handkerchiefs.

“So, tell me Morty, what’s going on?” Sid asked as he worked the tip of his iron around a line of buttons. “Is it money? If its money just say the word and I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

“It’s not money Sid. And yes, of course it’s money, but that’s not why I’m here.”

“OK Morty, I’m listening,” Sid replied, as he moved on to another shirt, his face enveloped in a cloud of steam.

“You might imagine this is when I dredge up some old grievance from when we were boys. Well you can relax Sid, I didn’t come here to bore you into submission. All I know is when I got in the car I knew I wanted to see you one more time and hear that low-class accent straight from the depths of Williamsburg. But don’t get too close. No hugging, no kissing and no weeping or messy nose blowing, OK?”

Sid looked at his brother, puffed up his cheeks and blew the air out in short, exasperated bursts.

“And in case it is all about the money, Sid, if you were to send me a check for $4,250, I would definitely cash it.”

With that Morty turned his back on the ten-million-dollar view, got into his geriatric Hyundai and rumbled down the drive on a cloud of greyish-black exhaust smoke.

“We need to do this more often,” Sid yelled after his rapidly disappearing brother before returning to his basket of wrinkled laundry. “Next time lunch.”

Robert Leone’s work has appeared in Two Hawks Quarterly, Ravens Perch, Hawaii Pacific Review, Prometheus Dreaming, Spank the Carp, Evening Street Press, Rosebud, Evergreen Chronicles, and The Ana. He co-wrote Rights of Passage, a play focusing on LGBTQ rights produced at New Conservatory Theatre Center in San Francisco.

Nourishment

December 8, 2024 By admin

Mom takes it as a personal affront that Raley’s has rearranged their stock. She understands about marketing techniques, that Raley’s needs to stay sleek and modern looking, that they are going to change things around so it’s always new and exciting. She gets all that. But, it is easier to blame Raley’s than face her own inability to adapt, to learn new things, to admit her ‘age-related forgetfulness’ has progressed to dementia.

When she forgot her grandchildren’s’ names it was unnerving but, she never thought about losing the ability to solve a problem. That just sideswiped her. She’d been warned that she’d forget names and dates and what she had for breakfast but, she never imagined shed forget how to do things. It frustrates her no end that she can’t find the oatmeal in a store that has misplaced it.

Now she uses the little family-owned market just down the hill from her retirement village. She complains that she doesn’t like it, that it’s too small, that it doesn’t have the brands she likes, that its always out of Mini Pepsis. And, of course she complains that she can’t find anything. But, she refuses to go back to Raley’s, the store that betrayed her.

In Mom’s quest to adapt to a brain that can only process a few things at a time, she’s narrowed her grocery list to about ten items. And still, when I go to visit, I find the cupboards are bare. She tells me she was planning on shopping ‘tomorrow’. I know she’s waiting for me to visit so she can have moral support while deciding which chicken thighs to buy.

Together, we go down the hill and slowly push the cart through the cramped aisles. It would be so much easier for me just to go and do the shopping. I know those ten items by heart, I could be in and out of that store in fifteen minutes. But, there is more to food than just having it. For most of ninety-two years Mom has been the one shopping and cooking and providing the nourishment that goes on the family table.

It’s painfully slow but, for the umpteenth time, I let her discover the raisin bread is on the far aisle and the Splenda is in the middle. As I take deep breaths and calm my impatience, I notice a place in my heart that is growing softer and fuller. I am coming to love my mom more and more as we nourish our fractured mother-daughter relationship through the simple act of leaning on a red-wired cart and discussing the nutritional value of Campbell’s Chunky Chicken vs Progresso’s Clam Chowder.

Lauri Rose is a 66 year writer living in Northern California. You would think, with a background in palliative care, she would have been prepared for her parents’ dementia. She wasn’t, Just like everyone else, she fuddled along and she did the best she could.