Archives for January 2017

Planning for Advancing Decrepitude

January 18, 2017 By admin

E S S A Y I’ve been thinking lately that I’m going to start keeping my eyes on two people as signs of how I should spend the final years of my life. Whichever one outlives the other will tell me what I need to know about the validity of healthy living.

Here’s Ringo Starr, who will turn 77 next July. Damn, he looks good! That trim, tight little body looks better than it did back in the heyday of the Sixties! I’ve always adored Ringo. From the original Ed Sullivan Show broadcast of the Beatles to today, Ringo is the Beatle I’d most invite over to sit on my front porch. He’s down-to-earth, homey, and even a little silly.

Ringo had a hard time dealing with the breakup of the Beatles and turned to drink to help him cope. He also was pretty fond of the nose candy. Trust me. I knew his dealer in Hollywood. I don’t know if he still enjoys a hit of pot once in a while or not, but I doubt it. He and his wife, the luscious Barbara Bach, went through major rehab and I doubt they’d mess it up over a little reefer. Besides, that new body of his shows absolutely no trace of Cheetos or fried pork rind munchies. No, this is one clean-living, sober, vegetarian man.

Next, we have Keith Richards, who will turn 73 on Sunday. He’s rock & roll’s original bad boy, bad man, and bad old fart. He’s a pirate. He smokes, drinks…who know what all, and I doubt he’s a vegetarian. No, he doesn’t look as good as Ringo, but then, he never did. Earlier pictures of the Stones should have prepared us. But he’s still out there. Like Ringo, he continues to tour, record, and make great music. We should all be so decrepit!

I love Keef. I love his philosophies about life and I love his ability to not give a rat’s ass what any of us think about him. He just marches along to the beat of his own drum, laughing all the way, leaving a trail of cigarette butts behind him and dropping gems like, “The point is, who are you? Do you know yourself, and can you handle it?” and “It’s not about living forever, it’s about living with yourself forever.”

I’m going to watch these two icons and see which one goes first. Whichever one survives will dictate how I’ll live my remaining years. If Ringo lives longer, I’ll clean up, exercise, eat better, and who knows? Maybe I’ll get myself a drum set and go back to playing. If Keef is the one to survive, then I’m going to start doing all the things I didn’t do during the 1960s and ’70s. Yeah, I know I did a lot, but not as much as either of these blokes.

Either way, because I’m younger, I’m pretty sure I’ll outlive both Ringo and Keef. We’ll see what happens after that.

SK Waller is an author and composer. Books One and Two (With A Dream and With A Bullet) of her rock and roll series, Beyond The Bridge, takes places in late 70s London. Read more at SK Waller Blog and SKWaller.com.

Working the Art

January 18, 2017 By admin

A R T S By gallery standards the canvas was rather compact, about one by two feet; painted in the horizontal format favored by landscape artists. It was possible to pass by without it making an impact though viewers who happened to pause were rewarded by a moment of exhilaration and possibly even the light-headedness associated with drinking Champagne. The first time I visited the gallery I walked right by the work. Later, at a party, I heard the critic, Masi Clarkson, talking about ‘effervescence’ and the ‘ethereal quality of light.’ The visual image had wormed its way into my subconscious; I knew exactly what piece he was talking about.

I went back to the gallery at the end of a harried day. It was raining and the wet afternoon walk down the street and up a steep flight of slick stairs nearly made me change my mind. I entered through the stone entryway and ahead into the gallery. There were a few diehards left from day visits. The after-work group, often there as much for the wine as the art, had not yet left their offices. Later they would fill the gallery with the murk of a hundred conversations. The smell of Chardonnay spilled from plastic cups onto the wood floor would mingle with expensive perfume, the scent of fancy coffees created by street venders in their kiosks, and the sticky odor of weed.

My second visit coincided with being in a literal drought with my own art. Nothing was working. There is only so much inspiration one gets from outside the brain and eventually the thought occurs that maybe there is nothing new to say with paint. I wait, with no shortage of anxiety, for the return of the muse. Visiting galleries and art museums can jiggle loose some creativity but there are no guarantees.

I approached the painting, hung midway down the chocolate colored wall, and was surprised and happy to have it to myself. Is that a face? Where did that amazing color come from? What’s behind the image? That is a face! I stood there dumbstruck, squinting and weaving my head side to side as I tried to identify what I was seeing. I was so drawn into the work, time stopped until I heard chattering behind me. A mom said, “Keep going, this one’s too hard for you to understand.” “Mom, that’s a face!” “No, I don’t think so, what a weird color, the artist must be depressed” she said. “I like how it looks like there is a light behind the color” said the kid. “No, artists try to trick people into thinking there is something to their art. Most of the time there isn’t. Artists are weird and they think abut things in a weird way. Let’s go. If we hurry, we can make it to the gift store and I’ll buy you that book about the color wheel.”

Kim Kohler writes on the uncertainties of living in a liberal hot spot where everybody has an opinion, every opinion counts and nobody uses turn signals.

Gringos Never Win

January 18, 2017 By admin

T R A V E L Ticos love their raffles! Rifas in Espanol…

Buy gas, get a rifa coupon.

Buy groceries, get a rifa coupon.

Pay your car tax, get a rifa coupon.

Buy a can of tuna fish, get a rifa coupon.

Take your own bag to grocery, get a rifa coupon.

Ticos love las rifas.

Sometimes rifa coupons are printed forms, other times you just write your name and national ID number and phone number on the back of the receipt and drop it in a box.

Conventional wisdom is “Gringos never win.”

Wrongo, incorrecto, erroro, Juan of Many Words…

I won! 100,000 colones! (about $180) from the local grocery store, CoopeAtenas… one of the many coopes in Costa Rica. This one has our preferred store for grocery shopping. It’s associated with a coffee co-op and agriculture supply co-op. Big deal in this small town.

I got a call from a nice woman who spoke English telling me the good news. I just needed to show up at the main office (above the co-op liquor store) to claim my prize. I had 15 business days to claim it.

I went within the hour.

The girl at the reception desk spoke no English. My Spanish is pretty good when it comes to the ordinary, every day stuff… but winning a rifa? I was lost.

After a long back and forth with me getting about every fifth word, she asked me to take a seat. She took my national ID card and made a copy and then handed me a certificate.

And typical in Costa Rica, it is never simple… we have to spent the certificate within 30 days AND we have to spend it all at once.

Gringos never win.

Mark Van Patten writes a blog called Going Like Sixty and has been married to the same woman since 1968.

Standard Equipment

January 9, 2017 By admin

be happy E S S A Y Many baby boomers are reaching that place in their lives when they know that they are probably at the three-quarter mark. I know that it says “your whole life’s in front of you” at the top of your screen, but that just means you still have plenty of time to go places and do things. It doesn’t mean you get to start over.

All the more reason to get the most out of your life NOW! What’s past is past. Regrets and failures do not matter any more. If you have 15, 20 or 25 good years left, why not make the most of that time. Wipe the whiteboard clean and start thinking about what makes you happy. Does this sound like something a typical baby boomer would say? Yes. Do baby boomers often think of themselves above all else? Yes (most of the time). Do I care that it sounds selfish? No.

What we should care about now is packing in as much life experience as we can. Stretch the boundaries of your comfort level. I’m not talking about bungee jumping. I’m talking about having an open mind when it comes to new experiences and not automatically ruling out things you never used to do (or thought you wouldn’t like).

It’s actually somewhat exhilarating to put some of your preconceived notions behind you and try something new. Foods you’ve never eaten before. Travel destinations that were never on your list. Physical activities that you thought were beyond your capability. Book genres you never tried. Social interactions that you typically avoided.

What could go wrong? Failure to launch? So what. You can argue about who said “it’s better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all” but the truthiness contained in that phrase is irrefutable. The only thing stopping us more often than not is our own inhibitions, and with our limited remaining years, should we allow them to prevent us from finding contentment?

So here’s a car metaphor mantra for going forward: Happiness is not an option. It really should be standard equipment.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. He’s written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.