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Archives for April 2024

Gray Divorce

April 29, 2024 By admin

senior marital disputeIt’s a thing. Boomers are getting divorced in large numbers. Sixteen million people aged 65 and older in the U.S. lived solo in 2022. That’s 3 times the number who did so in the 1960’s.

Remember when Tipper left Al Gore in 2010. We were shocked –– kind of. They had been married for 40 years. Bill and Melinda Gates? Justin and Sophie Trudeau? Yep, that’s a clear pattern. And it’s not some celebrity thing. Divorce rates for persons over 50 doubled between 1990 and 2010. Currently, one third of all divorces are people over 50.

The covid pandemic may have had some bearing as couples discovered they had different perspectives on vaccines, masking, and the politics of it all in general. Then there’s also unfaithfulness and other transgressions that can send a marriage south. The fact remains that these so called “silver splitters” just get to a place where they want to live apart, to fulfill their own goals untethered by a loveless union.

For many boomers, the option of remaining with a partner in a loveless or unhappy union represents a waste of what they hoped would be some of the best years of their lives. Many of these boomers are remaining single rather than jumping into new relationships and marriage. About 50 per cent remain alone several years after ending their marriages.

The number of single-person households headed by people over 75 is shooting up fast, and expected to number 14 million by 2038. Since most of these boomers show no interest in repartnering, there could be a real crisis in eldercare looming ahead. More often than not, the silver splitters are also splitting their nest eggs, cutting their savings by half. That can add significant pressure on their lifestyle and financial stability.

Not surprisingly, loneliness looms as one of the greatest disadvantages to living alone. Double duh!! Even if the financial situation is relatively stable, boomers going solo report that even when they make numerous social connections and build community involvement, it does not buffer them from a high degree of loneliness.

The trend is clearly going to continue but mental health experts, as well as financial planners, warn that the downsides can outweigh the upsides.

If you’ve contemplated splitting, you might want to heed the words/song by Eric Idle: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all – you can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

 

Filed Under: ESSAY

Airborne Contacts

April 29, 2024 By admin

row of airplane seatsSome people think airplane flights are only about going from place to place. But there’s the added value of enforced approximation with strangers you will never see again.

For example, once, when I was on my way to a health care conference, I found myself sitting next to a woman who had just that afternoon conducted an in-service on patient relations at our hospital. I, of course, recognized her but she didn’t recognize me. Interesting set-up—playing the random seatmate to a stranger who had just spent an hour telling us managers how to do our job…which, if you asked me, we were already doing pretty well. So, during the 30-minute flight to Chicago, I spoke for my fellow managers by getting her to repeat her lecture while inserting innocent sounding, challenging questions and comments. It’s always fun to ‘one up’ the out of town expert who presumes to know us and our work.

On another occasion there was a father and 10-year old son sitting in the same row as I. So, of course, I couldn’t help hear the two of them discussing a family situation. I tuned in more intensely when the boy complained that his dad was always making up rules and stuff. The father asked, “Like what?”

The boy went: “Like if I don’t clean up my room a portal will open and take me to another dimension.”

The father replied: “Well, that’s what happened to your older brother.”

The boy asked, “What brother? I don’t have an older brother.”

The father archly replied, “Exactly.”

I realized that sometimes, in the parent/child game, the parent has to use a trick or two to keep an edge.

Another time, long ago when the movie, Zorba the Greek, came out, I found myself sitting next to a woman from Athens. We chatted for a while until we came to the movie and what she thought of it. “It was fine,” she allowed “as far as it went. But it concentrated on very dark and negative elements. If you had read the book, you would know that Zorba was basically a positive life-force that balanced the evil and pain found in the story.” I read the book. She was right.

Sometimes flying in a cylindrical tube high above the earth helps us learn what is happening in the world below.

Retired trainer, and writing instructor, Joe Novara lives in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Writings include novels, short stories, a memoir and various poems, plays, anthologies and articles. Read more at https://freefloatingstories.wordpress.com/

Filed Under: ESSAY

Cell Phone Phobia

April 29, 2024 By admin

retro phone handsetI don’t do cell phone.

If you call me on my cell phone, I probably won’t answer. Usually the thing is on its charger way over in my bedroom, although I do carry it when driving or walking alone.

Physicians’ offices insist on using it to remind me of appointments, no matter how often I say “LANDLINE” to them. I have hearing loss (yes, I wear powerful hearing aids) and a tremor. Can’t hear on the dang cell phone, and can’t punch those teeny buttons reliably.
(Hearing on the phone: kids mumble and speak too fast, right?)

A friend, who is too old to qualify as a Boomer, *only* uses her cell phone, not her landline. She even uses it to look up things on the internet, then complains about how it “never tells me what I want to know.” I’ve tried looking up things on my cell phone, and she’s right. My computer works better for questions, because I can see my last question and modify it as needed.

Googling “what happens if you don’t use your cell phone” found many posts about how anxious people felt without it, then how wonderful they felt after they hadn’t used their cell phone for a few weeks.

“When I checked my screen time a few days ago, I was shocked to see that I was using my phone for an astonishing average of 8–10 hours a day, this is more than a 40 hour workweek. No wonder I felt like shit!”

OR

“The first 24 felt anxious. I was having trouble adjusting without a phone because I got bored doing nothing but walking and drawing. The next 24 hours I started feeling really anxious about how bored I was that I started distracting myself with all sorts of activities.”

On the other hand, I do spend too much time reading Twitter and Facebook on my computer. Us humans will do anything to keep from, well, being human.

Judith Pratt lives in Ithaca, NY

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Like Good Cheese

April 8, 2024 By admin

The case for age maximums. Whoa! Are people really talking about that? Yes.

We’ve always had age minimums. You couldn’t get a drivers license until you were 16. You couldn’t vote until you were 21, then it became 18. Workers need to be 14 or 16 for most jobs, and now some politicians want to change that to 12 (and shame on them!). You need to be age 35 to be President (more about that in a moment). Military service requires enlistees to be at least 17. In most states you need to be at least 18 to marry and some pols want to lower that minimum (shame on them too!). You must be 18 to rent a car, and coincidentally the reason for that is because it’s the minimum age to sign a contract.

Perhaps because there’s been so much attention given to Biden’s age (and Trump’s), the discussions about age maximums have come to the fore. Looking at the rationale for age minimums, you would have to conclude that the reasoning behind them was a sense that one must be mature enough to fight, vote, marry, drive or work.

Okay, then why have age maximums? Are we not mature enough? We’re like fine aged cheddar or Parmigiano-Reggiano. If maturity is not the problem, what then? Surveys suggest that most voters believe there should be an age maximum for elected officials. The problem arises when the discussion turns to what the age maximum should be. Should it be the age when they run for office or the age they must resign from office?

One man’s senility is another man’s maverickness (that can’t be a word but it should be). Bernie Sanders was 77 when he ran in 2020, a year older than Biden. Are some 80-somethings still sharp when it comes to decision-making and cognizance? Most definitely the answer is yes. That means it will be very hard to define exactly how old is too old. (Going back to age minimums for a moment, you could also make the case that some 16-year-olds are probably mature enough to vote and possibly more maturely than their parents.)

I don’t want to get paranoid about this, but if there are going to be age maximums for elected officials, couldn’t they cap the drinking age next? Going to have a real problem with that one.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.

Filed Under: ESSAY

Retirement Math

April 8, 2024 By admin

woman golfer about to tee offLast year was my fifth year of retirement, and I’m pleased to report I’m getting better at accomplishing very little. In 2023, I read a lot of crime fiction, wrote a bunch of blog posts, took a few road trips, watched a couple dozen shows on TV, walked, stretched, swam, cooked and ate delicious food. Dabbled at art.

I’d say it was a fine year. As a recovering over-achiever, it feels good to enjoy simple pleasures and chill. I don’t really like to keep count, as my last job was all about metrics gone wild. That said, you may be interested to learn I also enjoyed 21 blissful hours of full-body massage and about 100 rounds of golf.

Now for a “deep dive” into retirement math.

At an average of 4.5 hours per round, that’s 450 hours of golf. If one assumes a 40-hour work week, 450 hours converts to 11.25 weeks of golf, and that is the equivalent of playing golf for more than two months of the year!

My massages added up to $1,960. However, I don’t dye my hair, so let’s deduct $125 per month from massage expenditures. That leaves us at $460, which a working person such as myself might have spent on makeup, shoes, dry cleaning or even Botox. So, let’s just wipe the slate clean and accept that in retirement math, my massages are free.

There might be something to metrics after all. Seriously, I don’t think I’m playing enough golf.

Donna Pekar is an aging badass (for real) who lives in California and writes Retirement Confidential.

Filed Under: ESSAY

Orcas and Groundhogs

April 8, 2024 By admin

pesky groundhogYou’ve seen the news about Orca whales attacking the rudders of ships off the Iberian coast? Animals gone amuck. A sci-fi movie for real. Well, I can relate in my own backyard way. I’ve got woodchucks…ground hogs…whatever you want to call them on my property, giving me a taste of nature in attack mode.

It started one morning when I went to my workshop in the basement where I have a large window-well above my chop saw. I cut a cleat for a box I was making, looked up and noticed a family of woodchucks in the bottom of the well staring at me like I was a chimpanzee in a zoo and they were visitors on the other side of the glass. So, I chucked a piece of wood. Scared them. But how much wood can you chuck at a…never mind. See, they were getting to me.

I had noticed a burrow in my flower garden. Well, more than noticed. I stepped into it. Up to my knee. Had a hell of a time getting my foot out. Limped around for a couple of days. Something had to be done. Since I live on the edge of a smallish city, I couldn’t fire a gun unnoticed or safely. I tried a live trap baited with cantaloupe. Groundhogs like cantaloupe in case you’re interested in their dietary habits. So, I caught one. Looked like one of the those in the window well. But with woodchucks, it’s hard to tell. Anyhow, this guy was not happy with me. Boy can they scowl.

Animal control couldn’t/wouldn’t help with disposing of the critter. So, I tried the humane thing of putting the trap in a wheelbarrow and trundling out to a nearby woods where he happily scurried into the brush. Two days later I spotted another ‘chuck nibbling my newly planted bean sprouts. I watched. He stared at me, as if to say, ‘Yes?’ Took another bite. Had a lot of attitude for someone who lives in a hole in the ground. Could it be the same guy I had exiled the day before? Hard to tell.

Caged him again. This time I got a can of day-glo orange spray paint, spritzed his tail before hauling him off to the woods. Next morning, I noticed a groundhog with an orange tail scurrying across my lawn. Caught him again. Boy, he must be cognitively challenged or a foody hooked on a fresh-fruit diet.

Time for another strategy to get him and his kin off my property. I bought a gizmo you attach to your tail pipe, put a blanket over the live trap, put both together in my garage and started the car. An hour later, I pulled back the blanket to find an angry woodchuck glaring at me. Maybe he didn’t appreciate having his tail painted?

So, anyway, when I see those posts about Orcas, I sure hope oceanographers can come up with better animal management strategies than I could.

Retired trainer, and writing instructor, Joe Novara lives in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Writings include novels, short stories, a memoir and various poems, plays, anthologies and articles. Read more at https://freefloatingstories.wordpress.com/

Filed Under: ESSAY

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