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Rushmore Rogues

March 6, 2019 By admin

When Donald Trump said he was serious about getting his face carved into Mt. Rushmore, I figured we’d better see that famous monument while it was still how we imagined it. So my wife and I hit the road from Madison, Wisconsin, for the 800-mile drive to Keystone, South Dakota, to the gleaming granite faces of four past presidents—George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln.

We split the distance in half, spending Friday night in Sioux Falls and continuing on in the morning. The forecast was perfect— glorious sunshine, and temperatures to reach into the 50s.

Neglecting to consider the Mountain Time Zone, we reached Rapid City an hour earlier than expected. It was two p.m., and Mt. Rushmore, just 30 minutes away, closed at five. The temperature was now 55, the sky postcard blue, so we dropped our bags at our motel and headed south on Route 16—Mt. Rushmore Road—twisting upward through the pine forests and granite cliffs of the Black Hills. Keystone (pop. 370), the official home of Mt. Rushmore, was disappointing, a kitschy cowboy town, but we soon left it behind.

Next came our first tantalizing glimpse of Washington’s head above the pines. Then we pulled into the grounds. The parking facility, with a smattering of cars from dozens of states and Canada, had been cleared of overnight snow. That snow, in turn, had closed the Presidential Trail that leads from the Grand View Terrace to the granite escarpment beneath the carved faces. But it didn’t matter—the presidents were in full view along the Avenue of Flags between the parking area and the monument, and with the proud emblems of each state snapping in the breeze, we walked the avenue among a mélange of accents and languages.

The overnight snow had also closed the Greek-style amphitheater beneath the terrace, but again, it didn’t matter—Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln now loomed above us in startling 3-D.

While my wife wandered off to take photographs, I lifted my binoculars and made an amusing discovery. A small pine had rooted itself in the granite detritus below the chin of Roosevelt. According to Rushmore’s information director, there’s no more space for additional carving on the monument, so Donald Trump’s face will never appear there. But I think that, one day, that rogue pine will tickle Teddy’s nose.

Claude Clayton Smith is the author of eight books, plus a variety of short fiction, poetry, essays, and plays, and blogger from Madison, Wisconsin.

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Filed Under: ESSAY

Feel the Force!

February 19, 2019 By admin

Wake up baby boomers! You have become workplace yodas. That’s right – you are Jedi Grand Masters.

There’s a skills shortage of major proportion in every organization just as thousands of baby boomers ride off into the sunset (or into a cloudbank), taking their Jedi wisdom with them. A recent study from the University of California identified two distinct forms of intelligence: fluid intelligence, which is our ability to think logically and process information; and crystallized intelligence, which is gained through accumulated knowledge and experience.  Increases in crystallized intelligence was considered to be twice as valuable as increases in fluid intelligence. Guess who has loads of crystallized intelligence?

“Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.” – Yoda

Some organizations are setting up alumni networks in order to retain the knowledge and experience of longtime employees. One such network is YourEncore, which was set up by Procter & Gamble and Eli Lilly to enable them to tap into the wisdom of older employees who still wanted to offer their experience without working full-time hours.

Baby boomers are being recruited more directly in some companies to act as teachers and mentors to the younger talent. Rather than being called interns, someone coined the term “mentern.” Travel industry veteran Chip Conley has described his experience at Airbnb in his latest book Wisdom at Work: How to Reinvent the Second Half of Your Career.

He identifies the following types of wisdom that corporate elders can contribute:

  • Good judgment – the experience of older employees can give perspective and help smooth out the inevitable bumps in the road
  • Unvarnished insight – a boomer’s experience can help cut through the clutter and there is less need to impress or prove themselves
  • Emotional intelligence – knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens, so the elders are capable of great self-awareness and empathy
  • Holistic thinking – the brain may lose some speed and memory as it ages, but is more able to see holistically, a valuable faculty where pattern recognition is key.
  • Stewardship – elders have experience as good corporate citizens, and that often translates into a desire to give rather than take.

“Remember, a Jedi’s strength flows from the Force. But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.” Yoda

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

Filed Under: ESSAY

Crazy

February 19, 2019 By admin

Are you okay, Sara? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.

Oh, I’m fine, but could you bring me a glass of water, please? Sometimes the ‘glamourous and high-paying world of New Mexico real estate’ can be overwhelming.

Who was that on the phone? Was it the Placitas house again? It seems to me that couple is out of control. Here’s your water.

Thanks, Emma. You know, they really are nice people, but after forty showings they still haven’t had any offers, and the husband has his own ideas of how to do business. I told him I thought it was time to consider lowering the price, but he . . . are you ready for this? He said on the phone he wants to raise the asking price by ten thousand.

What? Raise the asking price? You’re kidding.

I wish. Actually, he first suggested we change the listing to show an increase of twenty-five thousand. I thought he might be joking with me, but then he laid down a whole song and dance about how he wants to be appealing to a different demographic.

How is raising the price supposed to help anything?

He said he wants to deal with the big spenders. He thinks that if they ask for more money, they won’t have to do as many showings. I tried to tell him that it doesn’t work that way, but I might as well have been talking to a tree. My guess is that they are tired of showing altogether. He said, “Think about it, Sara. We’ve had nothing but positive feedback from the agents. They mostly comment that the property shows really well, and after all the work we put into getting ready to list, I agree completely. It’s a hell of a nice house. I suspect that we’ve been dealing with shoppers interested in a lower price point, trying to get a deal. Let’s try marketing to the group that is able to spend whatever it takes to get what they want. It’s a little like playing hard to get. All of a sudden, raise the price and you’re irresistible. Besides, there’s a word for people who keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.”

Is this man out of his mind?

He just wants to sell the house, that’s all, and trust me, there’s nothing I’d enjoy more.

Harpeth Rivers is a writer, musician and happy homeowner still living and working in New Mexico. Check out his latest book, Proof, an illustrated fable, on Amazon.

Filed Under: FICTION

Inner Artist

February 19, 2019 By admin

How long did it take you to decompress from work and adjust to being retired? Right from the get-go, I was happy to be done with my job and thought that meant I had adjusted, but I was wrong.

Work? Not work? Who am I without a job? Who was I with a job? What’s my purpose? Is there a second act? Do we have to reinvent ourselves? Aren’t we pretty OK already?

Life’s eternal questions. I kind of stopped thinking about them and focused on what made me feel good and what made me happy. Amazingly, my creative juices are flowing. I’ve been feeling artistic!

While writing is an art, I’ve never been otherwise inclined to pursue artistic activities. My crafty quilting sister got those genes. If I needed help with a Halloween costume or gift packaging, she would take my emergency phone calls from Michaels, where I panic. Seriously, what is all this stuff?

And in minutes, she’d talk me off the ledge. She’s the Michaels Whisperer, “OK, stand with your back facing the door. Go three aisles down and turn right. Look up. No, not that way. 3 o’clock. Bend your knees slightly and reach out in front of you. Pick up the tube on the left. Glitter glue.”

So, where to start? I took this quiz, and it said I am destined to be a print maker. I got a book from the library, and making prints looks hard. Actually, everything looks hard.

I’m calling in all my lifelines for help deciding how I will scratch this itch. I have virtually no experience making art, unless you count a ceramic ashtray I made in grade school and cookies decorated with royal icing. My friend, Carole, who is an artist, recommended decoupage. I went to the library and got a book on decoupage. Looks doable.

My sister warned me I need to be patient. Immediate results are not to be expected. Like I need to be warned about patience! I don’t have time for such nonsense! We’ll be talking this weekend, when she will share other important sisterly advice.

I’ve been thinking about what might come naturally pursuant to my interests. I like things with function. Surfaces like wood, glass, ceramic and tin. I like kitchen stuff. I’ve been doodling spirals since I was a kid. I see more spirals in my future.

It’s exciting to think about getting started in art, but it’s even more exciting to think my brain is finally in this place. This is year two of retirement, but my first full year. I’m decompressing from my work life and embracing my creative urges. Urges I didn’t even know I had.

As for other creative urges, Dale and I are embarking on a journey this weekend to make tamales from scratch. You know there will be a story.

Donna Pekar is an aging badass (for real) who lives in California and writes Retirement Confidential.

 

Filed Under: ESSAY

That’s Alright Mama

January 23, 2019 By admin

I bumped into Elvis the other day as he was coming out of the Double Dee Diner. He was loaded down with two big bags of carry-out. I don’t want to say he was looking stuffed but I’ve seen him looking better.

The King…great to see you. Everyone always jokes that you’ve left the building and here you are…leaving the building.

Treat Me Nice

Hey, I’m being nice. We just wonder if you will ever record again.

It’s Over

Too bad. Are you sure you won’t change your mind?

Cross My Heart, Hope to Die

There are so many rumors about you being sighted here or there and then there are the doubters who say you’re dead.

Suspicious Minds

That seems to be the price of celebrity nowdays. They say if you want a true friend get a…

Hound Dog

Right, man’s best friend. So where are you staying?

Heartbreak Hotel

Really? That seems a little low end for a big star like yourself.

Don’t Be Cruel

Sorry, but back in the day when you played the big venues you lived the good life.

Viva Las Vegas

When you listen to some of the popular singers and rappers today you must be just a little nostalgic for those days or no?

I’m All Shook Up

What do they have that you didn’t have?

Money Honey

What? You were, you ARE the King!

I Got Lucky

Come on. It was more than luck. They called you the King of rock and roll. What do you think was the secret to your success?

Can’t Help Falling in Love

You did sing a lot of love songs – you talked the talk.

A Little Less Conversation

Sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you up and now your food is getting cold. I guess you want to get back to the Heartbreak.

It’s Now or Never

Really good seeing you.

Love Me Tender

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

Filed Under: FICTION

Team Tamales

January 23, 2019 By admin

Dale and I love tamales and usually buy them fresh at the farmer’s market. However, we’ve been talking about making them ourselves and finally decided to just do this thing.

He surprised me by sharing that he spotted all critical tools and ingredients at the local market I’ve been to once. When did he go? Is this what he does while I’m playing golf? Cruising the markets looking for who knows what?

For the filling, Dale braised a pork butt in the oven with not much more than an onion. After it cooled, he shredded it and added his homemade chile sauce. That’s all there was to filling. But then I didn’t make it, and I know chile sauce is messy work involving the rehydration of dried pepper pods. I find it in our freezer already made!

We set up the work station. Dough, soaked husks, filling. We began to prep and realized neither one of us knew how to roll these things. The masa was too thick, so we added a bit of juice from the pork butt to thin it out.

As for rolling, we were in hysterics trying to figure it out. The first one Dale made looked like a monster burrito, and I weighed it just to see. The mother of all tamales weighed in at nine ounces. I wanted to name it El Jefe, but Dale insisted on El Capitan. I mean, wrap it in a pizza and it could be on the menu at Taco Bell.

They were looking like tamales, and we were argument-free, when we began to discuss steam time.

Dale’s sources, real or imagined, said 45 minutes. Diana (real) said two to three hours. That’s quite a discrepancy. We pulled out other cookbooks, and yes, it varied from 45 minutes to three hours.  How do you know?

We decided it probably depends on how many are in there and the thickness of the masa. The problem was I did not want to be starving at 8 p.m. waiting another hour because the masa wasn’t cooked.

The tamales took about two hours. They were probably too thick, and the rolling technique was inconsistent and weird. However, they were absolutely delicious! We had them two nights in a row and then froze the rest in their husks. A decadent treat we learned in Texas is tamales smothered in chili.

All in all, it was way fun. We laughed a lot because we were so outside our comfort zones. As retirement partners, I highly recommend taking on a joint project of some sort. Something where you have basic skills, but you are stretching them to new limits, so you learn together.

The whole experience reminded me of a team-building exercise from work, except you can use the f-bomb, and we got to kiss at the end.

Donna Pekar is an aging badass (for real) who lives in California and writes Retirement Confidential.

 

Filed Under: ESSAY

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