BoomSpeak

Cool!

By

Good news! Aging is cool! There’s even a website that says it’s so. Agingiscool.com. Really. Their slogan is “Stay Strong. Stay Smart. Stay Social.” The couple that founded the organization wants to help us stay strong, smart, social, and above all –– cool.

They look like they are in their 30’s so I’m a little skeptical about them laying the “cool” moniker on aging boomers. I might have thought I was cool in some ways through my 50s, but once you get past the half-way mark in your potential lifespan are you really cool in any way anymore?

If it combats ageism in some way, I guess I’m okay with it. Meryl Streep is pretty cool. Dr. Seuss was very cool. Nancy Pelosi? Come on! She’s very cool. Harrison Ford, Patrick Stewart and Robert Redford still have the cool thing going on. And Helen Mirren? Doubled down cool for that lady. Did someone say Betty White? She’s 97 and still too cool for school.

Cool has always been a perception thing. You act cool and people think you’re cool. Pretty soon you believe it too. And what is cool? It’s an attitude. Above it all sometimes or just against the grain. The key thing is to make it look like you don’t care. Be natural. Nonchalant. Not easy to pull off and sometimes just a burden, being cool is a state of mind.

Between dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, don’t we have enough state of mind issues at this stage in our lives. I’m less worried about being cool and more worried about any sign that I might be losing my mind. Forgetting what someone told you yesterday and not being able to recall names and facts as easily as you once did can give one pause. Definitely not cool.

In the final analysis, and I hesitate to use the word final in this particular context, cool is in the eye of the beholder. Oh, the hell with it. It’s cool that we’ve even made it this far.

You be cool now.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

Funk

By

Of course, we’re both in a funk of sorts. I had a meltdown about a week ago and have since felt reasonably calm and content. It was during the meltdown I said, “I’m just gonna go outside and ask people to spit on me.” I call that my rock bottom, and it has been nothing but up since.

Dale doesn’t do meltdowns, but I would say his low point was after we got back from the grocery store, because that was his happy place, and it’s not anymore. It also turns out Dale is much more extroverted than I am. He misses even the smallest interactions with clerks and neighbors.

We’ve talked through it, not without pain mind you, but we’re still a unit, committed to getting through this healthy, happy and together. I read about relationships being stressed right now, and my favorite line was something like this:

Don’t search for the perfect partner. Try to be the perfect partner.

I could tell Dale needed some comfort food and suggested burgers. We have everything for that, and he jumped right on it. We’re taking an indulgence break and will have burgers tonight. Then it’s back to broccoli on Friday.

We talked about playing board games, and I did an inventory of our toy chest:

  • Risk
  • Monopoly
  • Othello
  • Scrabble
  • Yahtzee
  • Backgammon
  • Dominoes
  • Pente
  • Cribbage

Most of these have been sitting idle for some time. This might be the 70s talking, but I don’t remember anything about Othello or Pente. Dale doesn’t like Scrabble or Yahtzee, my two favorites, so we’re going to start with backgammon. We used to play a lot and have a beautiful board we bought in Egypt. We’ll need to brush up on the rules.

We both used to like cribbage, but his mother was a fanatic, and we both got burned out on it during one of her visits many years ago. Perhaps enough time has passed that we can try it again.

Other unexpected items that showed up in the toy chest during my inventory include:

  • German flag
  • Survival cards
  • Mexican game with cup and ball on a string
  • Multiple decks of playing cards
  • Phantom of the Opera mask
  • Latin dictionary
  • Arabic at a glance
  • English-French dictionary
  • Eisenhower postage stamps

Donna Pekar is an aging badass (for real) who lives in California and writes Retirement Confidential.

 

 

Upper Room

By

I hadn’t thought of high school, those awful best years of my life, since college, not as ghastly. Afterwards I kept things on an uneven keel, keening not keening, that would be unmasculine, suddenly it was out – mine, hers, both? – can’t tell in this light, nothing’s hard, nothing will be, it’s the drink, not age, not me, it may be me, it’s

A screaming comes across the world, the stain of love upon the sky, that can’t be it, and yet

She, not seen since, moved one of the coats on the bed, cloaked the small intruder. “Not here,” she said.

“Where then?”

“Nowhere, I had a crush on you then but I’m in my fifties now and you”

“Never mind about me, just”

Then our song came on, dancing time. She smiled, crooked, led the way downstairs, not touching, we rejoined the party buttoned up as though nothing happened, nothing did, she rejoined her husband, I went outside, couldn’t retch, came back, cold, damp, not miserable, someday she, we’ll laugh, tell no one, blab it all about, what

I grabbed a cold one only to

Clyde Liffey lives in Ivoryton, CT, near the water.

 

 

Upon A Pond

By

I suppose I should not have been surprised, but upon taking a leisurely stroll around Walden Pond, who do you think I bumped into? That’s right –– Henry David Thoreau.

Well as I live and breathe! Henry David Thoreau. Can I call you Hank? Stupid question. Another stupid question – what are you doing here?

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately.”

Sure, there’s that. But you could be home watching Netflix and chilling.

“As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.”

I can’t see Netflix using that as a slogan but I could be wrong.

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

Now that’s a gem. That could sum up the whole TV streaming thing.

“A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.”

Ooh, that’s a good one too. I guess that’s why you’re out here in the woods instead of home watching TV.

“We need the tonic of wildness.”

Now more than ever, yes sir. Totally agree. What do you make of our current political mess?

“Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so. Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something.”

Great advice, but specifically, do you have any suggestions for how we can change things for the better?

“Things do not change; we change.”

Hmmm. I was looking for a more detailed or nuanced solution.

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”

Is is just me or do you have the best answers to just about every question?

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”

I just love, love, love that!

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”

And here you are, all alone. I admire how you can come out here without an entourage or posse.

“I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.”

That’s a great word picture. I wish you had one short enough to go on a bumper sticker.

“All good things are wild and free.”

Amen brother.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

Death in the Valley?

By

Many retirees live to travel, but we are not among them. Why not?

Aside from being happy homebodies, we traveled a lot when we were young, and travel isn’t what it used to be. We’re on vacation every day and don’t need a break. We live well and cook great food at home. Plus, we’re bad at travel. Dale won’t plan, and I over-plan, researching hotels and restaurants in search of the perfect experience. We’re almost always disappointed and sad to see the money go.

We did some soul-searching and figured out a few things. For some of us, traveling was easier before retirement, because we knew more money was coming in. Right? Time to earn it back. When there’s a fixed pot at the end of the rainbow, you tend to be more cautious. At least we are.

There’s no one-size-fits-all for retirement travel. Easy for some, not so much for others. Still, most of us do want to enjoy new experiences. Maybe it’s just a matter of figuring out what we like and don’t like and learning to do it better.

One thing we learned this week is that we’re sort of low-brow people in search of a low-rent rendezvous. We went to Napa for an overnight trip, and it was an expensive letdown. The wineries were lovely, but later it seemed like we had opened our wallets to charming thieves and said, “Here, take it.”

A big deal up Napa way is bringing your own wine to a restaurant. Best as I can tell, there are rules. You don’t bring a wine they serve at the restaurant. It should be something special. They charge a “cork” fee unless it’s a special day where they don’t charge to uncork your wine, but even then, there’s an etiquette to tipping and tasting. Of course, they stick it to you on the wine if you order theirs.

We had beer! And that was the best part of our meal.

I’m confident there are better and less expensive ways to explore the wine country. We’ll go back at some point. For now, we are going to focus on visiting natural wonders, and there’s no shortage of them within a few hours of our home. Dale’s on board and said he’s eager to visit Death Valley.
In the summer. Because then you know what it feels like to be in Death Valley in the summer.

Donna Pekar is an aging badass (for real) who lives in California and writes Retirement Confidential.

Fits

By

It all started with the gift of a Fitbit my partner received from his children for Christmas. Wearing his device, he began avidly tracking his daily steps and his nightly sleep patterns. I decided to get one too, to help shake off the pounds I added to my frame over the holidays, and to get the incentives offered by my Medicare Advantage plan. I chose an off-brand smartwatch and eagerly awaited its arrival.

Once I figured out how to download the app, get the watch linked and synched, and strapped to my wrist, I was in business. However, I quickly discovered that reaching the recommended 10,000 steps per day is much harder than it seems. I walked, I ran, I jumped up and down, and jogged around the apartment. I checked my progress constantly. I discovered in the grocery store that my steps didn’t count if I held onto a cart, so I walked through the store pushing the cart with one hand, while swinging the other arm with conscious effort. Did anyone notice the crazy lady moving oddly over and over up and down the aisles? I didn’t care.

And it wasn’t just the steps that quickly became an all-consuming obsession. My device tracks my pulse, blood pressure, oxygen saturation, calories burned, and more. With the pressure of my finger on the device, I was measuring my vitals 20 times, at least, per day. And the sleep cycles. Instead of asking each other how we slept as we lazily sipped our morning coffee, we were instead checking and comparing our stats, and our sleep scores. Instead of comparing dreams, we were researching whether the amount of REM sleep our devices reported was the right amount for optimal health.

Like any addiction, it’s when it starts interfering with your job, your relationships, or some other aspect of daily functioning that it’s time to take note. I was running in place really fast to wrap up my daily steps to the point where I had cramps in my calves the next day. I was thinking at night as I rolled over and couldn’t get back to sleep that my score wouldn’t be optimal. I think these devices are helpful as a reminder to move every day and to pay attention to our health. But for now, I am removing mine and just going for a walk outside in the fresh air.

Lee Stevens is a mostly wise elder and joyful writer in Hendersonville, NC

 

boom_blog-icon        facebkicon_boomspk        dc06_favicon