To Helen Bach,
I’ve ended a long-term relationship and now I’m wondering how long should I feel guilty for leaving someone I used to love? When do I get to be happy?
Signed
Still Feeling Guilty for Wanting Happiness
Dear Still Feeling Guilty,
And feeling guilty is doing exactly what for you? The truth is we don’t always love forever. Hang out in guilt, finish rehashing the old arguments. Also, trust that time for mourning the loss is required. Then when you are ready, commit to your vision of what you choose next…Joy? Rewrite the story you’re telling of your life now that you’re free. Give yourself credit for moving toward happiness. Clarify in detail what you want, ‘cause you’re likely to get it. You need permission? Here it is: go – dance, sing! Life is short.
Helen
To Helen Bach,
I have been on a dating site for the “mature set” for a few months now and all the men I’m really attracted to are 10 years younger than me. Do you think it’s wrong to only date younger men and what do I do if one of these guys gets serious?
Signed
Stud Muffin Magnet
Dear Magnet,
Hello? Ok, ten years might be a slightly large gap, but do I really have to tell you to lap it up? Seriously, there is nothing wrong with it. You must be a woman… men have no problem dating younger women, or haven’t you noticed. Do you love some of the same music? Can you talk for hours or sit in silence with equal ease? Travel well together? Share books? Those are the questions. Age really doesn’t matter, it’s what you do with it.
Helen
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