Retirement? It's a Killer...For The Wife

celebrating seniorsWhen my husband retired four years ago, I didn’t realize what my life was going to be like.  Now I’d rather visit the dentist, give birth to ten children, or go back to school and study Algebra.

Retirees do things they never did when they worked.  Now, they supervise the cooking; before they only ate.  They go shopping with you because you can’t shop by yourself because you’re not capable.  They go to the beauty shop with you because they become your best friend and close companion. You never needed a beauty shop companion before.

Retirees become experts in the clothes department.  You cease to have any good taste.  When he worked and came home in the evening, you looked great!  Now you need his help to buy a T-shirt and shorts.

seniors drinkingRetirees need an hour in the bathroom in the morning.  You’re entitled to ten minutes.  After that, it’s what are you doing? I’m waiting for you for breakfast.  For thirty years, he never ate breakfast at home.  It was more fun for him to eat with his friends.  Now I’M HIS FRIEND.

Retirees change their clothes three times a day and expect their undershorts to get pressed.  You wash clothes more often, iron more, and get more complaints on the collars of the golf shirts.

Well, things have settled down and we can play our golf, eat meals out and enjoy life. Then he had triple bypass surgery. Regardless, he has fully recovered, guess who is now his “Go-For?


Bernice Schneider (AKA Bunny) knows a thing or two about retirement, among other topics. Just ask her.

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