essays

Get Some Sleep

Am I the only baby boomer wandering around at 3 in the morning? I don’t think so. Apparently baby boomers are more susceptible to sleep apnea at this stage of their lives. If your blood pressure has been dropping and you’re tired all the time, or (you’ll love this one!) you stop breathing momentarily in your sleep, you should see a doctor.

Insomnia and sleep apnea occur more often as you get a bit older and heavier. Things get flabby and the parts start to loosen up – like your airways!! Yikes.

If none of these symptoms hit home, maybe you’re just as stressed out as the rest of us who are awake in the early hours. According to those who measure things, about three fourths of baby boomers surveyed say that they get less than eight hours of sleep a night, and one in six has difficulty falling asleep. You made it through crying infants and out–all-night teenagers and now this?

Just the noise of the cat puking in the living room can wake me from a sound sleep. Then as long as you’re up cleaning the floor you might as well get a glass of water. And after the water it only makes sense to go to the bathroom. Maybe then it’s a good time to plan that fantasy trip to the Greek Islands. Should you go with two or three days in London on the way to Athens? Has anyone sent you email in the middle of the night? You never know. If I’m up they could be up. It’s only midnight in LA…but they go to bed at 8 pm don’t they? You could get off the computer and go out on the sofa to watch TV. Home improvement shows are perfect for putting you to sleep. You start watching Amy the carpenter on Sweat Equity reruns and wake up twenty minutes later with drool on your chin (sorry about that Amy).

All the health gurus say you should get eight hours of sleep but what if you never slept that much? What if you’ve been getting by for years on six hours?

I’d like to help you with this problem, but I’m going back to bed.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

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