I recently read and highly recommend an essay in the NY Times by Roger Rosenblatt entitled Ain’t Dead Yet. He lists rules for the elderly to keep themselves elderly (as opposed to the alternative). Examples include “Marry above your station” and “Don’t share despair.” His book is entitled “More Rules for Aging.”
One rule in particular struck a chord for me, mainly because it was something I like to think I’ve been doing for much of my life. He advises that we Don’t forget to bestow confidence.
How right he is because it is so easy to forget and yet it is such an invaluable habit. Perhaps because I’ve somehow grown up thinking I can do things that it turns out I cannot, but the habit of telling others, “You can do this” is so affirmational that it’s a shame more of us fail to do it or do it often enough.
Whether it is a loved one, a friend or even a stranger, consider what a gift you bestow on them when you declare they can achieve a goal that is before them. Rosenblatt sees it as the ultimate act of love and I agree. However, it’s just as powerful when you put it out there for anyone who is plagued by self-doubt.
Bear in mind I’m not suggesting you encourage a stranger to do something dangerous or foolhardy, but watching someone agonize over attempting an overhead tennis lob or some other comparable physical test almost always makes me want to shout, “You can do this!” More often than not, that is what I tell them.
Think about the effect that it can have on someone. As Rosenblatt points out, you’re wishing them the experience of inner satisfaction as well as the pride of achievement. I’m assuming that the recipient of your encouragement actually is able to hit that lob. And if they don’t? So what. They dared to try and that should count for a lot when it comes to one’s self-respect. Rosenblatt uses the word “bestow” which I found to be clever when I thought about it more. Isn’t that a word we use when offering a gift or an accolade?
Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. His most recent mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon. But that’s not all. You can also purchase the Best of BoomSpeak on Amazon.
In the world of recreational mathematics—a crowd I am decidedly not a member of—a strobogrammatic year is one that remains identical when rotated 180 degrees. I know this despite having no business being in the “mathlete” circle. I’m so far removed from the math world that for years I thought Avogadro’s Number was just the secret ingredient in a really expensive batch of guacamole. (It turns out it’s 602,200,000,000,000,000,000,000, which is roughly the number of times I’ve had to explain to a cashier how to make change without the computer telling them what to do.)
Ever heard of the Ngorongoro crater in Tanzania? It’s a huge sunken bowl of an extinct volcano making a kind of enclosed zoo for many species of African fauna. I was part of a tour into this self-contained Eden conducting what are called ‘game drives.’ Basically, eight us Americans sat in an open-sided Land Rover while our driver pointed out the elephants, flamingoes, jackals and lions, dik-diks and gazelles. At one dull point we even paused to study a dung beetle pushing a huge turd. Another time we tracked a leopard stalking a waterbuck in the tall grass. Elephants, as you might imagine, were easier to spot. Also giraffes. Herds of gazelle and thousands of wildebeest circled flamingoes. Our guide used his radio to draw and be drawn to hot action spots with other guides.
Have you heard the term mini-hoarder? Tell the truth. Are you saving some things that you are absolutely certain you will never use? I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.
Some things to think about.
Each morning, while my coffee is heating up, I do my physical therapy exercises. They were prescribed for my neck and shoulders, but I’ve implemented some additions. I bend over at the waist, place my right hand on the counter, and then swing large circles with my left arm. I switch sides and repeat. By that time, the chime on the microwave goes off. We don’t throw away old coffee.
