My husband and I decided to bring gratitude into our lives everyday by naming three things that made us grateful that day. In the beginning, and still often, Mark names the same three things, “My sweetie, my dog, my home.” But sometimes he ventures into new territory, “I got the lawn mowed today” or, “I finished cleaning the garage.”
I can see that getting those things done makes him happy, I’m just not sure the feeling is the same as gratitude. Without a doubt, happiness and gratitude are connected. They are like twins, very similar, often found in each other’s company but, different in deep and meaningful ways.
Feelings of happiness, though frequently accompanying gratitude, are deeply personal and often connected to an accomplishment or something manifested. It is not a gift and doesn’t lift you out of yourself or connect you with something bigger. I will feel happy when I finish this essay or sit down to a nice meal I cooked. It is surely worth noticing happiness in life, but it isn’t the same as being aware of gratitude.
Gratitude moments are transpersonal, bigger than the little “I” self. They stun you with their depth and beauty, they leave you awestruck and feeling lucky to be alive and conscious of the moment. A school yard of laughing toddlers, the smell of coffee gently drifting into the bedroom, a good thick acorn fall, all quicken gratitude into my heart. There was nothing I did to create acorns, or toddlers, or to influence what coffee smells like. All those events were simply gifts. There are no feelings of accomplishment to them, there is just gratitude to whomever, wherever.
My sixty-fifth birthday is coming soon. I will be very happy sharing a table full of food with family and friends. I will be grateful to have those family and friends to share the meal with.
Lauri Rose lives in the mountains of CA with a neurotic lab, a handy husband and eight geriatric chickens.
