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Archives for December 2022

Solo or So Low

December 4, 2022 By admin

empty sofaAbout 26 million Americans 50 or over live alone. It’s now the fastest-growing demographic in this country.

There’s a lot of reasons but key among them is that women have had more opportunities for career advancement, home ownership and financial independence. So, no surprise, women make up about 60% of the total.

And many of these live-alones feel positive about their circumstances. This, despite the fact that research clearly shows that they will face worse physical and mental health outcomes, as well as shorter life spans. Many of these individuals do not have children, which raises the additional quandary of who/how will they fit into any kind of elder care scheme.

Downsizing is problematic due to a lack of smaller scale housing. Despite the surge in single-person households, builders are focused on bigger and bigger homes. So many of these live-alones are forced to live in more space than they really need or can afford.

While they may prize their solo lifestyle, many of these boomers are freaked out by the looming elder care issue. Who are they going to call when a serious illness arises or a physical limitation makes it harder to live in their larger than needed home?

The solution may lie in some type of communal living option, where live-alones can continue to have the independence of living alone, but in a supportive atmosphere that at least assures their safety and emotional well-being. The co-operative housing movement is picking up steam but will it be large enough and soon enough to meet the demand of 26 million seniors is a big question. If you know a fellow boomer who is living alone, it would not be considered rude to discuss the co-op housing with them. The future for live-alone boomers could be bleak unless we boomers pull together to look for solutions.

It’s the least we can do for each other.

Jay Harrison is a writer and creative consultant for DesignConcept. You can also visit his author page here. His newest mystery novel, Rio Puerco Demise is available on Amazon. His first mystery novel, Head Above Water, is also available on Amazon.

Filed Under: ESSAY

Gratitude and Expectations

December 4, 2022 By admin

gratitudeIt occurred to me I’m entering my sixth year of retirement, and it seems like it gets better every year. I still rather like the image of me as a slightly eccentric Bohemian heiress who dabbles in what amuses her. Although I am of Bohemian stock, nothing in my lineage includes money, so sadly, I had to earn my little nest egg.

Although I always had creative drive and longed to be a free agent, writing and puttering as I pleased, I didn’t have the will to live in poverty, as is so often the case with idealistic free agents. Instead, I chose a life of working for the man until there was enough to retire, and now I can dabble to my heart’s delight. Some of my jobs were pretty darned good and some sucked, but now I’m glad I stayed the course.

I’m reminded of a woman I use to work with. I made director before she did and was included in a variety of events for “directors and above.” When she wasn’t invited to said events, she’d say, “Another year of being a nobody.” She eventually got promoted and is presumably happy being somebody. I don’t miss all that faux specialness and have settled quite nicely into being a nobody.

While I do believe in the power of positive thinking, I also think there’s a case for not wanting too much. Not everything has to be bigger, faster, stronger or better in every way. For example, I’m a decent golfer, but I tell myself it’s OK to just play. Sometimes you will play well and sometimes you will not.

Hit the ball, hit the ball again. That’s my new mantra.

I also love word games and can be quite competitive. I quit playing Wordle for a few weeks because I was so angry I lost a game. I’m back to playing and have a nice streak going, but before I play, I tell myself, “You will lose. Accept it.” Somehow preparing for less than stellar results keeps me grounded.

Which brings me to Ray Wylie Hubbard, the renowned Texas musician. One of his notable songs is Mother Blues, a song where he and his guitar tell a richly layered life story. It’s such a cool song, and the last lines are pretty powerful.

And the days that I keep my gratitude

Higher than my expectations

Ah! Well, I have really good days.

That’s kind of where I’m at.

Donna Pekar is an aging badass (for real) who lives in California and writes Retirement Confidential.

Filed Under: ESSAY

We Rock(ed)

December 4, 2022 By admin

Buddy HolleyI don’t have one musically talented bone or gene in my body. But most of me is primed to appreciate music especially since the first time I heard “Rock Around the Clock” by Bill Haley and the Comets. Rock an’ Roll and I grew up together. We were the first generation to be defined by our music and that music was Rock. Everything else was controlled by adults: school, food, clothes, chores, and television. They even decided to call us Baby Boomers. A total waste of a moniker which described them not us. Baby Boomer described what they did after WWII. They boomed out the babies. We were the boomed.

I have always despised the title and do so especially now since it is a term of such derision by the younger “generationwhatthehellever. “Hey, Boomer,” primarily means “Old man who is responsible for the world’s problems.” Implying connection to Trump, Climate change, political chaos inflation and greedy billionaires. But Billy Joel knows “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

We birthed Rock ’n Roll. Billy Haley, Little Richard, Dion, Buddy Holley, and Fats Domino. It was the only thing that was ours. Adults hated it which made us more faithful to it. Loud, fast and obnoxious was how we wanted it and that was how we got it through the radio. It drove them away. It was also about sex hidden in code. We knew the Thrill on Blueberry Hill wasn’t about increasing our intake of fruit. And when little Richard sang “The Girl Can’t Help It” we knew exactly what that meant. And when Jerry Lee Lewis sang “Shake Baby Shake” we knew what she should shake. It was another way to prove adults weren’t as smart as they thought. We knew the secret.

A lead singer, guitar player and drums were all a band needed to play simple songs about a simple life preferably with no adults in the vicinity. When there was, we just turned the volume up.

WE ARE THE FIRST AND BEST ROCK AND ROLL GENERATION. The First R&R Generation. We have nothing to do with banging the babies out. The title was foisted upon us and has long outworn its usefulness.

Without us Americans would probably still be singing “How Much is That Doggie in the Window?”

Graham Campbell lives in Worcester, Massachusetts

Filed Under: ESSAY

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